I was born in Arkansas to Christian parents, who were also born in Arkansas. In fact as far back as I can trace all of my family has come from the Southern states here in the United States. I was raised here all my life on a farm, where you get up in the morning, milk cows, feed the chickens and do the rest of the chores. My father was a Baptist minister, which is just a sect. of Christianity, such as Catholics, Methodist, etc.
These are all "Christian" religions, but with different doctrines. It could be best explained as to the differences that are between the Sunni and the Shiite. I am Sunni by the way. The town that I lived in was completely white raced and all Christians. In fact this was the scenario in a 300 mile radius of me. So I had never been exposed to any other cultures or religions. But I had always been taught that we were all created equal in the eyes of God, and that there was no difference in race, color, culture or religious practices. Later I discovered that this was easy for them to preach and teach as long as they stayed closed minded and these other people did not invade their world.
The first time I seen a Muslim was while I was in college at
the University of Arkansas. I will admit at first I stared
at the women in their "different clothing" and the men with
the towels wrapped around their heads and wearing "night
gowns". But the first time I had the opportunity to get to
know a Muslim lady that I felt comfortable with in asking
questions, it started a thirst in my heart and soul that
will never be quenched. Alhamdulillah!!!
I will never forget her, she was from Palestine and I would
sit for hours listening to stories about her country and the
culture, but what intrigued me most was her
religion...Islam. This lady had an inner peace about her.
Like no one I had ever seen. I can remember so well even
today her telling me about the prophets, peace be upon them,
and ALLAH (swt). Even though I had never voiced this to
anyone, I had always questioned in my mind the concept of
what Christians called the "trinity" and why we had to pray
to Jesus (pbuh) and not to God directly, and why so much
emphasis was put on "Christ" and not God.
My friend did everything she could do to convince me that
Islam was the only religion that would take me to heaven,
and that it was not just another religion, it was a way of
life. My friend graduated six months later and returned to
Palestine. She was killed two weeks later outside of her
home. I was devastated, it was like a part of me had died
with her. We knew that when she returned home our chances of
ever seeing each other again in this life was very unlikely,
but she told me that what was most important to her was that
she seen me in the here after in "Paradise".
During this time I had met and made friends with a lot of
people from the Middle East. They also helped me deal with
the lost of my friend. This was also when I came to love the
Arabic language. It was beautiful.
I would listen to their
tapes of the Qur'an for hours, even though I didn't have any
idea what they were saying. Even today, I love to have
someone read to me from the Qur'an, and I still can't
understand what is being said, but it still touches my heart
and soul. I didn't have time to really learn any Arabic in
college, I was lucky to remember my homework assignment. But
I am trying very hard now to learn how to speak and read it,
Insha’Allah. And for those who have ever listened to me
speak Arabic or type in "Arabic English", they can tell you
I have along way to go. And I thank them for their patience
and "tutoring".
After I left college and returned to my "community", I
didn't have the honor to be around Muslims any longer. But
the thirst had never left nor had my love and desire for the
Arabic language. Which I might add infuriated my parents and
other friends. This confused me, because I had always been
taught that we were all equal in God's eyes. I guess there
were a few exceptions to this concept for my friends and
family.
Then in the Spring of 1995, Allah (swt) brought someone into
my life. This person was such a wonderful example of what a
Muslim should be and what Islam was about that once again, I
began to ask questions. I was even taken to my first mosque.
That will be a memory that shall forever be etched into my
memory.
For 8 months I studied everything he could possibly find me
and read and listened to tapes continuously. Then on
February 15,1996, I officially embraced Islam. ALHAMDULILLAH
!!!!!!!!
Our engagement was broken because his parents were
against the idea of him marrying an American. Even though we
are no longer engaged, I respect and admire him greatly. And
I would never give up my Islam.
Since Feb. 15, my life has taken many turns. When I became
engaged to an "Arabian" or "foreigner", my family was in
shock, they rarely spoke to me. I also lost most of my
American friends. BUT when I embraced Islam, my family first
tried to have me committed to a mental hospital, when that
didn't work, they completely disowned me. They did make
calls to me to tell me that they hoped I rotted in
hell...and calls from my so called friends stated the same
desire. Yes this hurt, even though my family and I had many
differences, I still loved them deeply.
Alhamdulillah wa
"Subhanaallah" my eeman (faith in Islam) was strong.
The last time I spoke to my family was two days after the
bombing in Saudi Arabia. My uncle and cousin were killed in
the bombing...my family called again to tell me of the news
and to "assure" me that my family members that were killed
in the bombing loved me.BUT their blood was on my head and
all my terrorist friends. I cried for days, but once again,
my eeman stood strong and I continued.
The next turn in my life was when I returned home one
afternoon four days after the bombing to find that someone
had shot at windows of my home, and spray painted "TERRORIST
LOVER" down the side of one of my vehicles. The police were
no help to me at all. That same night while chatting in the
"Muslim Chat" I heard gun shots ring out. They had returned,
and finished almost all the remaining windows that were left
in my home, and killed my pets that were outside.
Upon the arrival of the police I was told that unless I
could give positive identifications of these people and the
vehicles they were driving, then it would almost be
impossible for them to be found. I begged them to check my
vehicles for any damage, I wanted to go to a motel so I
would feel safer. I was told absolutely not, they were
concerned that my "TERRORISTS" friends could have planted a
bomb in one of them as a trap for the police. I crumbled to
the ground on my knees crying out for ALLAH'S (swt) mercy
and guidance.
Allah's answered very faithfully. I was attacked one night
in a parking lot by an unknown man that proceeded to beat
me, stab me, break my wrist and fracture some ribs. This
person has been caught, and is awaiting trial, but at this
time he is only doing public service work for this town.
Last week when I went to pick up my clothing at the dry
cleaners I was informed they had been lost, these articles
included all my hijabs, jilbabs, abayahs and khimars. How
convenient for them to lost these items.
The town I live in is very small and there are no other
Muslims or Arabs even close. The closest mosque is 120 miles
away. Even though I am alone as to the fact that I do not
have any other Muslims to visit with and learn from,
Alhamdulillah, ALLAH is always there!!
What little knowledge I have about Islam has been gained
through reading everything I can find on the internet, and
through my true friends and family on the Internet. I will
never give up...but I would like to thank a very special
Palestinian brother for his love, support, friendship and
prayers during these past few weeks. You know who you are.
God bless you richly. To my other Muslim brothers and
sisters on the Internet, I love you and I thank you.
I am not writing this story in hopes of gaining pity. I do
ask that everyone continue to pray for me, or anyone that is
reading this to be assured that ALLAH (swt) will never let
you down. But the injustices and prejudices that we Muslims
face here in the United States and around the world has got
to come to an end. It has to be acknowledged and dealt with,
I know I am not alone in this fight. It is time that the
media print and show the "TRUE" side of Islam. ALLAH (swt)
will prevail!!!!
And one final thought, to my friend who first shared her
knowledge of Islam with me...I know that on February 15 of
this year, you smiled down on me from paradise and gave
ALLAH (swt) all the praises, and Insha'Allah I will see you
again.
I love you all.
Amirah