Struggling with a Non Muslim Mother and ex husband
Salaam Ailikum brothers and Sisters.
I was raised without and faith and mashallah I was directed to Islam two years ago.
I struggle with my mother who is a Christian and goes to church about every day. Her life is all about Christ. I don't want her to bring this into my children's lives.
I want my children to understand Islam and follow in Islam. She talks about Jesus PBUH all of the time and how he is the son of God and her friends believes that he is also God himself. How do I handle living a life of a Muslim and living a life with my mother who is so different from me.
We find ourselves arguing a lot. She feeds my children pork and so does their father who is not Muslim. I struggle everyday with the difference and I am not sure how to handle any of it. I love Allah and Islam, I want to follow my religion. Every where in her house is crosses and Jesus pictures. She carries the bible every where. She was not like this growing up and now she is, since I have found faith.
How do I handle all of this. I know that Jesus PBUH, and that he was a
good man. But she sees him in a different way. Please Advice.
I have started a new business selling out of catalogs. In this catalog
is signs of crosses, angels, pictures of Jesus, and other religion articles.
My husband has advised me to tear out the pages. That it would be wrong to
have them in the book. I guess I would like some advice. I am a new
Muslim and I have grown up around all of these things. They do not mean
anything to me personally. But should I do.
Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullaah wa barakaatuh
Alhamdulillah. Your great dislike for cross's and pictures claiming to be of Jesus in your mothers house is a sign of Iman. The Christians insult God when they say that Allah has begotton a son. This such is a terrible evil that upon hearing this the heavens are almost torn, and the earth is split asunder, and the mountains fall in ruins.
And they say: "The Most Beneficent (Allâh) has begotten a son (or offspring or children) [as the Jews say: 'Uzair (Ezra) is the son of Allâh, and the Christians say that He has begotten a son ['Iesa (Christ)], and the pagan Arabs say that He has begotten daughters (angels, etc.)]."
Indeed you have brought forth (said) a terrible evil thing.
Whereby the heavens are almost torn, and the earth is split asunder, and the mountains fall in ruins,
That they ascribe a son (or offspring or children) to the Most Beneficent (Allâh).
But it is not suitable for (the Majesty of) the Most Beneficent (Allâh) that He should beget a son (or offspring or children).
There is none in the heavens and the earth but comes unto the Most Beneficent (Allâh) as a slave.
Verily, He knows each one of them, and has counted them a full counting.
And everyone of them will come to Him alone on the Day of Resurrection (without any helper, or protector or defender). (Quran Surah Maryam verses 88-95)
And Allah says
It befits not (the Majesty of) Allâh that He should beget a son [this refers to the slander of Christians against Allâh, by saying that 'Iesa (Jesus) is the son of Allâh]. Glorified (and Exalted be He above all that they associate with Him). When He decrees a thing, He only says to it, "Be!" and it is.
['Iesa (Jesus) said]: "And verily Allâh is my Lord and your Lord. So worship Him (Alone). That is the Straight Path. (Allâh's Religion of Islâmic Monotheism which He did ordain for all of His Prophets)." [Tafsir At-Tabarî] (Quran Surah Maryam verses 35-36)
So as Muslims it should shock us and hurt us that they say such lies against Allah. However we are not allowed to compel Christians and Jews to become Muslims and stop believing in this evil.
We should not sell or advertise signs of crosses, angels, pictures of Jesus and so on even if they do not mean anything to us. The Prophet peace be upon him would break anything that looked like a cross in his house. Jesus peace be upon him was not crucified nor does anyone have a right to falsely make pictures or idols of him or angels. So yes you should tear those pages out as we cannot sell or advertise things that are blasphemous.
It is quite common for Christian parents of new Muslims to start going more to Church after their child's conversion to Islam . Some Christian parents of Muslim converts believe that their child will return back to Christianity because they think Christianity is better than Islam. It appears that your mother may believes that her lack of going to church and not teaching the bible to you was a cause of you leaving Christianity. She may now believe that she can make you become a Christian again by her self acquiring more knowledge of Christianity and becoming a more committed and stronger Christian. Then teaching the bible to you.
Thoughout history Kaffir parents have tried everything possible to get their children to leave Islam, Some have tried brainwashing and even threats of physical harm to their children in order to get their children to leave Islam.
As a Muslimah you should be good to your non Muslim mother but If she tries to feed your children pork or tries to teach them Christianity then do not take them to her house. Instead visit her house without the children t. If she has cross's or pictures in her house then that is her house and her business. Plus you are not living with her and only visiting her. As for the father of the children, you have said " the law in America is that my children see their father. It can not be arranged differently."
In this case you should make dua (supplication) to Allah to save your children from their father and in addition to this, tell their father and also your mother that the bible also prohibits the consumption of pork.
The bible says:-
And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be cloven footed, yet he
cheweth not the cud; he is unclean to you".
"Of their flesh shall ye not eat, and their carcass shall ye not touch, they are unclean to you."
Pork is also prohibited in the Bible in the book of Deuteronomy
"And the swine, because it divideth the hoof, yet cheweth not the cud, it is unclean unto you. Ye shall not eat of their flesh, nor touch their dead carcass."
Teach your children the oneness of God and the errors of the Christian belief, especially with regards to their belief in the trinity. Teach them that worshiping the cross and the picture of Jesus or Mary is in fact idol worship and we only worship Allah alone. Yes we pray towards the direction of the kabbah in the blessed city of Makkah but we do not worship it. Also teach them why the pig is impure and tell them even their father's religion prohibits it.
Telling one's family about Islam is very difficult and we can end up arguing and even shouting. They are the ones we want the most to become Muslim. They are the ones we expect the most to listen to us. When they do not listen to us we want to force them to listen to us. Especially if we care about them and do not want them going to the hell fire. We can not accept them not listening to us. Yet when we tell people at work about Islam we end up being extra polite and extra careful in how we say things. Because we want to keep on being able to call them and others at work to Islam. Similar we need to remember be extra careful and extra polite when telling our families about Islam but still maintaining that passion of wanting them to be on the truth. Even begging them to become Muslim because we care for them and do not want them to go to hell..
In order to call your mother to Islam you need try to learn as much as you can about the Aqeeda aspects of Islam so that you can defend your own belief when challenged and learn about how to refute Christian belief such as the errors in the bible and the refutation of the trinity. One problem convert brothers and sisters face is the tricky arguments the Christians pose to the Muslims. Usually the Christians miss quote or quote out of context a Quranic verse or a hadiths and say look here is an error. Also the not knowing Arabic and Arabic culture can also cause problems. Even in Urdu when we say I read 1000 books or 100 000 thousand books does not actually mean I have read that many but it is an expression that implies I have read many books. Similarly if you do not understand some cultural phrases in Arabic or even the correct meaning of Arabic words you could be tricked into believing a Christians lie. Therefore it is very important for Muslims to know their own religion properly before debating and be able to ask a scholar or some one who knows a good scholar. Alhamdulillah the scholars have always been able to refute any tricky arguments the enemies of Islam put forward.
Wassalaam alaykum wa rahmatullaah wa barakaatuh