In the name of Allah ,the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful



Introduction to the Fiqh of Marriage
In Surah Nisa Allah says

"O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person (Adam), and from him (Adam) He created his wife [Hawwa (Eve)], and from them both He created many men and women and fear Allah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship) . Surely, Allah is Ever an All­Watcher over you" (Quran 4:1)

And in Surah Al-Qiyamah Allah says

And made him in two sexes, male and female. (Quran 75:39)

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Women are the twin halves of men.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood in his Sunan, 236, from the hadeeth of ‘Aaishah; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 216). 

Human beings have been created in such a way that the two sex's compliment each other. They are garments for each other. They are like a lock and key which opens the door..

In Surah Rum Allah says

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect." (Quran 30:21)

 

Allah says

It is He Who has created you from a single person (Adam), and (then) He has created from him his wife [Hawwa (Eve)], in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her....(Quran 7:189)

Thus the goal of marriage in Islam is to get together a male and female in the bondage of marriage and for their to be mutual kindness, respect, affection and love.

If we reflect on this verse, had Allah not put this affection and mercy between the two, no couple would stay together when one of them was ill, during a financial or emotional crisis.

Neccessity for Marriage

Human beings have been created for a natural desire for the opposite sex to for companionship and what companionship brings, for fulfilment of sexual desires.

Allah created man and knows what is best for mankind and created us they way we are and thus does not deny us companionship and fulfilment of sexual desires. However, Allah has laid rules for us in how to go about fulfilling our needs.

Islam has been described as the Middle Path because the Prophets Islam (which may appear extreme to the non Muslims and to the ignorant Muslims) is in fact the Middle of two extremes.

One end of the extreme is those who practise celibacy such as the Catholics. They refuse to ever get married. This leads even their priests to finally become perverted actions against females, boys and even animals.

The secound extreme is to the other end were people do not marry and just have sex with anyone from the opposite sex. These leads to no stable relationships, broken hearts, unwanted children, sexually transmitted diseases and the list goes on and on.

Thus is the best way for a man and woman to live is in the bond of marriage.

Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “We do not think that there is anything better for those who love one another than marriage.” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1847; classed as saheeh by al-Busayri and by Shaykh al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 624) 

Why Must a Muslim get married?

 

Firstly Marriage is Half of deen

Al-Haakim narrated in al-Mustadrak from Anas, in a marfoo’ report: “Whomever Allah blesses with a righteous wife, He has helped him with half of his religion, so let him fear Allah with regard to the other half.” 

Al-Bayhaqi narrated in Shu’ab al-Eemaan from al-Raqaashi: “When a person gets married he has completed half of his religion, so let him fear Allah with regard to the other half.” Al-Albaani said of these two hadeeths in Saheeh al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb (1916): “(They are) hasan li ghayrihi

 

Secoundly Marriage is a Sunnah of the Prophets

Allah says:

"And indeed We sent Messengers before you (O Muhammad ), and made for them wives and offspring..." (Quran 13:38)  

Thirdly monasticism is forbidden in Islam

The Prophet peace be upon him gave a stern warning to the ones who wanted to live a life a monasticism type of  life

It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: Three people came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asking about the worship of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). When they were told, it was as if they regarded it as too little. They said: Who are we in comparison to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)? Allaah has forgiven his past and future sins. One of them said: As for me, I will pray all night forever. Another said: I shall fast all my life and never break my fast. Another said: I shall keep away from women and never get married. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came and said: “Are you the ones who said such and such? By Allaah, I am the one who fears Allaah the most among you and I am the most pious, but I fast and I break my fast, I pray and I sleep, and I marry women. Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not of me.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5063) and Muslim (1401). 

However, there are situation were a person wants to get married but cannot due to financial circumstances

Allah says

“And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah enriches them of His Bounty”

[al-Noor 24:33 ]

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are three whom Allaah is bound to help: the mujaahid who strives (in jihad) for the sake of Allaah, the mukaatib (a slave who has made a contract of manumission with his master) who wants to pay off his manumission, and a man who gets married, seeking to remain chaste.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1655), classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.  

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I have not left behind me any fitnah more harmful to men than women.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5096) and Muslim (2741). 

Marriage also helps a person lower his/her gaze which in turn reduces the chances of the person committing even greater sin of fornication.

And it was enjoined by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:  The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding one’s chastity. And whoever cannot afford it, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5065; Muslim, 1400.

Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “If there comes to you with an offer of marriage (for your daughter, sister, etc.) one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry (your daughter, sister, etc, to) him. If you do not do so, there will be mischief on earth and widespread corruption.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 1004; classed as hasan in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 270)

A pious  couple will also help each other in elevating their Iman. Encouraging  each other to do good and stay away from evil.

 

Marriage is also a way of getting extra good deeds for when a a man has sex with his wife he gets the reward equivalent to giving  charity.

 

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“And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Saalihoon (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty”

[al-Noor 24:32] 

  

And   

 

“And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Saalihoon (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty”

[al-Noor 24:32] 

A. 

 

 

 



Thus Allah created the human race in pairs

And made him in two sexes, male and female. (Quran 75:39)
It was narrated from al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah that he proposed marriage to a woman, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Go and look at her, because that is more likely to create love between you.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1087; classed as hasan by al-Nasaa’i, 3235) 

It was narrated that Thawbaan said: When the verse “And those who hoard up gold and silver” [al-Tawbah 9:34] was revealed, we were with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) on one of his journeys. One of his companions said: This has been revealed concerning gold and silver; if we knew of any better kind of wealth we would acquire it. He said: “The best of it is a tongue that remembers Allaah, a heart that is grateful and a believing wife who will help him with his faith.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (3094) and Ibn Maajah (1856). In Ibn Maajah’s report it says: “who will help one of you with regard to the Hereafter.” The hadeeth was classed as hasan by al-Tirmidhi and as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

 

 

Allah Specifically Orders Men to be Kind to their Wives

Since the most common marital flaw from the man's side is cruelty, lack of kindness or lack of compassion, Allah and His Prophet (sas) have stressed on the man the need for kindness and good treatment.  Allah said:

{And interact with your wives in a good manner for if you feel dislike for them, it may well be that you dislike something in which Allah places much good.} An-Nisaa:19

On this same subject, the Prophet (sas) said:

"Khairukum khairukum li'ahlihi wa ana khairukum li'ahliy."
"The best off you is the best of you toward his family (i.e., wife) and I am the best of you toward my family."  At-Tirmidhi & others (sahih)

Allah Reminds Women to be Obedient to their Husbands

The Islamic household is arranged in the same way as the Muslim Ummah as a whole.   There is an Amir who is in charge and has final authority as well as final responsibility over the household just as the Khalifa has over the Ummah as a whole. 

The Khalifa is required to consult with the people of knowledge before taking important decisions.  After this consultation, he is not bound by their opinions however.  Rather, he is commanded to take what he sees as the best and most correct decision, even though it may not be the favored opinion among those with whom he consulted.  The khalifa is under no obligation to consult those of no knowledge or expertise in the Shari'a and/or the issue at hand.

Likewise the Muslim husband.  His wife is his fellow adult in the household.   He is encouraged to consult with her in decisions in which she may have some constructive input to offer.  Like the khalifa, he is not bound by any of her opinions and is required to always strive to take the Islamically correct course of action.  Young children are not part of the "shuraa" of the father, particularly in issues of upbringing and discipline.  Mother and father must work together on these issues with final authority and decision-making always belonging to the father.  It is easy to find examples of families suffering great discord when the correct relationship between husband and wife is not maintained or when one of them puts the children above the other.  It then become a question of who is raising whom?

The Muslim father has been ordered by Allah to do everything in his power to protect his wife and children from the fire.  This is his responsibility and his authority - even if it goes against their opinions.  Allah said:

{O you who believe, guard yourselves and your family members from a fire whose fuel is people and stones.  Over it are ferocious and powerful angels.   They do not disobey and of Allah's orders and do whatever they are told.}  At-Tahreem:6

Since the main temptation for the woman in marriage is disobedience and disrespect toward her husband, Islam stresses on her to control this aspect of her personality just as it stresses on the man to avoid cruelty and lack of compassion.  Allah said:

{Men are in authority over women with that with which Allah as preferred some of you over others and with that which they spend of their wealth.  So the righteous [women] are the obedient [women] those who guard in absence that which Allah has guarded.  As for those from whom you detect rebelliousness, reproach them, separate from them in sleeping and strike them.  If they obey you, do not desire a way at them.  Surely, Allah is the High, the Great.}  An-Nisaa:24

Of course, this obedience is only in that which is not disobediene to Allah Most High as is clear from the statement of the Prophet (sas):

"Laa taa'ata li makhlooqin fiy ma'siyati khaaliq."
"There can be no obedience to a created being in disobedience to the Creator."
 

In a sahih hadith, the Prophet (sas) mentions that one of the signs of Qiyama is "when a husband is obedient to his wife."

Marriage is the Sunnah of the Prophets

It was the way of the prophets of Allah Most High to marry and have children.   'Isa was a notable exception whose life was quite short and who never did either of these things.  He never taught celibacy and is not to be taken as an example in this regard.  Allahs said:

{We have sent messengers before you and made for them wives and descendants.}  Ar-Ra'd:38

Marriage Must Begin and Continue in the Proper Manner

The previous evidences illustrate the make-up of the correct Islamic marriage.  It is one in which there is affection and compassion between the spouses.  It is one in which both spouses love Allah more than all else.  It is one in which the husband is kind and generous toward his wife and in which the wife is obedient and respectful toward her husband.  They should each find repose and peace in each other's company.   Why then is our actual reality so far from this ideal in so many cases?

Obviously, the first place we should look is to our selves and our actions.   Secondly, experience has shown that marriages which start off incorrectly and in disobedience are usually doomed to failure.  For example, many Muslims look for a spouse as the disbelievers do:  looking for who is attractive to them and talking at length with them in order to "get to know them".  Certainly, a Muslim should try to know about the person they intend to marry, but meeting and talking in person or on the phone is not the proper way to go about it.  This will usually lead to finding a marriage partner based on their attractiveness.  The Prophet (sas) has informed us that anyone who selects a mate based on anything other than their piety is doomed to failure:

"A woman is sought in marriage for four things: her beauty, her wealth, her social status and her family ties.  Attain victory with the one piety, may your hands be in the dust!"
 
The meaning of "may your hands be in the dust" is may you be afflicted (e.g., with poverty) if you fail to heed what I am saying to you.

Good Intention

Marriage is one of the most important social relationships in society.  If it goes sour, there is little hope for the overall society - especially the next generation.   Note the following supplication from the lips of those who have repented and do good deeds:

{And those who say: Our Lord! Grant us from our wives and our descendents coolness of the eyes and make us an example for the people of piety.}  Al-Furqaan:74

Marriage is an Act of Worship and "Half One's Religion"

The importance of Marriage in Islam can be seen in the following hadith:

"Man tazawwaja faqad istakmala nisfa al-imaan falyattiqi Allaha fiy an-nisf al-baaqiy."
"Whoever marries has completed half of his faith.  So let him beware of Allah regarding the other half."

This is, of course, when a person marries for the correct reasons and in the correct manner.  Many scholars have commented that marriage is preferable to concentrating on extra acts of worship.

 

 

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Islamqa

What you have heard, that a man marries the person he deserves and who is similar to him in terms of righteousness or immorality is not correct. This is indicated by the following: 

1 – The story that Allaah tells us of two of His noble Prophets, namely Nooh and Loot (peace be upon them), whose wives were disbelievers. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Allaah sets forth an example for those who disbelieve: the wife of Nooh (Noah) and the wife of Loot (Lot). They were under two of our righteous slaves, but they both betrayed them (their husbands by rejecting their doctrine). So they [Nooh (Noah) and Loot (Lot)] availed them (their respective wives) not against Allaah and it was said: ‘Enter the Fire along with those who enter!’”

[al-Tahreem 66:10] 

2 – Islam does not allow an adulterer to marry a chaste woman, and it does not allow a chaste man to marry an adulteress. This indicates that such a thing could happen, and indeed it happens often. 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“The adulterer — fornicator marries not but an adulteress — fornicatress or a Mushrikah; and the adulteress –fornicatress, none marries her except an adulterer — fornicater or a Mushrik [and that means that the man who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan or idolatress) or a prostitute, then surely, he is either an adulterer — fornicator, or a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater). And the woman who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater) or an adulterer — fornicator, then she is either a prostitute or a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan, or idolatress)]. Such a thing is forbidden to the believers (of Islamic Monotheism)”

[al-Noor 24:3] 

3 – The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said that a woman may be married for her wealth, her beauty, her lineage or her religious commitment, and the fact that he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged marrying the one who is religiously-committed indicates that marriages could occur for other reasons, so a man might marry a woman who is not like him.  

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Woman are married for four things: for their wealth, their lineage, their beauty and their religious commitment. Marry the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” 

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4802; Muslim, 1466). 

4 – The fact that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded guardians to marry the women under their care to religiously-committed men indicates that something other than that could happen. 

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry (your daughter or other female relative under your care) to him, for if you do not do that there will be tribulation in the land and much corruption.” 

Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1084; Ibn Maajah, 1967. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 1022. 

So the one who is looking for a wife should look for one who is religiously-committed and has a good character; similarly, woman’s guardians should not marry them to anyone but those who are religiously-committed. For a man is influenced by those with whom he keeps company, especially if that lasts for a long time. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A man will follow the way of his close friend, so let each of you look at whom he takes as a close friend.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2378; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1937). 

“A man will follow the way of his close friend” i.e., he will follow the habits and path of his friends; “So let each of you look” means, think long and hard about; “whom he takes as a close friend” means, whom he regards as a friend and a brother. So if you like a person’s religious commitment and character, take him as a close friend, and if not, then avoid him. For characteristics are easily copied and keeping company with people has an effect on whether you will be good or bad. Al-Ghazaali said: Sitting with and mixing with one whose interest is worldly gain will make you also seek worldly gains; sitting with and mixing with one who is an ascetic will make you care little for worldly gains, because following characteristics are easily copied and one could copy the characteristics of one's friend without even realizing. 

From Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi. 

Secondly: 

With regard to the adulterer, he may be punished with regard to his family. A hadeeth to that effect was narrated, but it is mawdoo’ (fabricated), however the meaning may be correct. We have mentioned it, with comment, in question no. 22769

Allaah, may He be blessed and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“it may be that you dislike a thing and Allaah brings through it a great deal of good”

[al-Nisa’ 4:19] 

“and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allaah knows but you do not know”

[al-Baqarah 2:216]. 

It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas said: I was riding behind the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) one day and he said: “O boy, I shall teach you some words. Be mindful Allaah and He will take care of you. Be mindful of Allaah and He will protect you. If you ask then ask of Allaah, and if you seek help then seek help from Allaah. Know that if the nation were to gather together to benefit you in some way, they would not benefit you except in something that Allaah has decreed for you, and if they were to gather together to harm you in some way, they would not harm you except in something that Allaah has decreed for you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2516). 

‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab delivered a speech from the minbar and said:

“Do not go to extremes with regard to the dowries of women, for if that were a sign of honour and dignity in this world or a sign of piety before Allaah, then Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would have done that before you. But he did not give any of his wives, and none of his daughters were given, more than twelve uqiyah.”

Narrated by Abu Dawood (2106); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood. 

And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Faahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin, and an evil way that leads one to hell unless Allaah Forgives him)”

[al-Isra’ 15:32] 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “An adulterer, at the time he is committing illegal sexual intercourse is not a believer; and a drinker, at the time he imbibes an alcoholic drink is not a believer; and a thief, at the time of stealing, is not a believer. And a robber  who robs (takes illegally something by force) while the people are looking at him, is not a believer at the time he is robbing (taking).” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 2475). 

It is a major sin, and the one who commits this sin is issued with a warning of a painful torment. It says in the great hadeeth about the Mi’raaj (Prophet’s ascent to the heavens): “… We went on, and we came to something like a Tannoor (a kind of baking oven, a pit usually clay-lined for baking bread).” I [the narrator] think he said, “In that oven there was much noise and voices.” He said, “We looked into it and found naked men and women, and a flame of fire was reaching up to them from underneath, and when it reached them, they cried loudly. I asked them [the two angels], ‘Who are these people?’… 

They [the two angels] said, ‘We will tell you… those naked men and women whom you saw in a structure resembling an oven, they are the adulterers and the adulteresses.”

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari in Baab Ithm al-Zunaah, no. 7047).

Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A previously-married woman should not be married until she has been consulted, and a virgin should not be married until her permission has been sought.” They said: “O Messenger of Allaah, what is her permission?” He said: “If she remains silent.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5136; Muslim, 1419, from the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him).

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: With regard to a virgin who is still a minor, there is no difference of opinion concerning her (i.e., that her father may marry her off even if she objects). Ibn al-Mundhir said: Every scholar from whom we learned was agreed that it is permissible for a man to marry off his virgin daughter who is still a minor, if he marries her to someone who is compatible, and it is permissible for him to marry her off even if she objects and refuses.” Al-Mughni, 9/398 

But it was narrated from Imam Ahmad that whoever reaches the age of nine years comes under the same ruling as a girl who has reached puberty, so her permission must be sought. But if the father opts to be on the safe side and ask her permission, that is better.  Al-Mughni, 8/398-405. 

Al-Bukhaari (3894) and Muslim (1422) narrated that ‘Aa’ishah said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married me when I was six years old and consummated the marriage with me when I was nine. 

Imam Ahmad (21833) and Abu Dawood (3090) narrated from Abu Khaalid al-Sulami (may Allaah be pleased with him) that he went out to visit one of his brothers, and he heard that he was sick. He entered upon him and said: “I came as a visitor, to visit you in your sickness and bring glad tidings.” 

He said: “How can you combine all of that?”  

He said: “I came out, intending to visit you, then I heard that you were sick, so now I am visiting you in your sickness. And I give you the glad tidings of something that I heard from the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who said: “If Allaah decrees that a person should reach a status that his deeds cannot help him to reach, He tests him with regard to his physical health or his wealth or his child, then He causes him to be patient until he reaches that status that He has decreed for him.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Saheehah (2599) on the basis of corroborating reports

Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage except with a wali.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (2085), al-Tirmidhi (1101) and Ibn Maajah (1881) from the hadeeth of Abu Moosa al-Ash’ari; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage except with a wali and two witnesses of good character.” Narrated by al-Bayhaqi from ‘Imraan and ‘Aa’ishah; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 7557. 

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. If he has consummated the marriage with her then she is entitled to the mahr because of the intimacy that he has had with her, and if there is a dispute, then the ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian.” Narrated by Ahmad (24417), Abu Dawood (2083) and al-Tirmidhi (1102); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ no. 2709. 

Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No woman should describe another woman to her husband so that it is as if he is looking at her.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5240).

 

 

Ibn ‘Abbaas said to Sa’eed ibn Jubayr: “Get married, for the best of this ummah are those who have more wives.” Ibraaheem ibn Maysarah said: “Taawoos said to me: ‘Either you get married, or I will say to you what ‘Umar said to Abu’l-Zawaa’id: There is nothing stopping you from getting married but either impotence or immorality!’ According to al-Mirwadhi, Ahmad said: ‘Celibacy has nothing to do with Islam. Whoever calls you not to get married is calling you to something other than Islam.’”

Then he said (may Allaah have mercy on him):

The benefits of marriage are many. They include: protecting one’s religion and helping one to adhere to it; protecting and taking care of women; and producing offspring and increasing the ranks of the ummah, thus achieving the pride of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), etc. [Translator’s note: there is a hadeeth which indicates that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) will feel proud of the large numbers of his ummah in the Hereaster, so Muslims are encouraged to marry and have many children.]

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O young men! Whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for this will lower his gaze and protect his chastity. Whoever cannot (get married), then let him fast, for fasting will be a protection for him.” (Agreed upon).

 

 

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Mughni (7/142), after mentioning faults which give the wife the right to annul the marriage, including the husband’s inability to have intercourse: One of the conditions of allowing the option (of annulment) because of these faults is that he did not know of it at the time of the marriage contract, and he did not agree to it afterwards. If he knew of it at the time of the marriage contract or he found out about it afterwards and agreed to it, then he does not have the option (of annulling it). And we do not know of any difference of scholarly opinion (concerning this). End quote from al-Mughni (7/142). 

In al-Mudawwanah (2/144) it says: I say: What do you think if she knowingly marries a man whose penis has been cut off or a eunuch? He said: She does not have the option (of annulment), and Maalik said likewise. He said: Maalik said: If she marries a eunuch and did not know of that, then she has the right to annulment when she comes to know. End quote. 

See: al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah (29/69). 

Although we have said that it is permissible to marry him, it is better for you not to marry such a man, because intercourse and what it leads to, namely having children, are natural things that men and women need. You may be willing to give up this right now, but you do not know what will happen in a year or two, and marriages are supposed to be permanent. 

Hence Imam Ahmad said to the guardian of a woman: I would not like you to give her in marriage to an impotent man. If she agrees now, she will dislike him when she enters upon him, because intimacy is something to which they are naturally inclined and they like what we like. 

Ibn Qudaamah said, commenting on that: That is because the harm caused by that will be ongoing, but acceptance of that cannot be trusted to be ongoing. It may turn to resentment and enmity. 

Al-Mughni (10/67). 

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Ibn Mas’ood said: If I only had ten days to live and I knew that I would die at the end of them, and I had any desire to get married, I would get married, for fear of fitnah (temptation). 

It was narrated that Sa’eed ibn Jubayr said: Ibn ‘Abbaas said to me: “Have you gotten married?”  

I said: “No.” 

He said: “Get married, for the best of this ummah are the ones with the most wives.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5069). 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, or her religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5090; Muslim, 1466) 

 

It was reported that ‘Ubaadah ibn al-Saamit said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Whoever turns over at night and says Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah wahdahu laa shareeka lah, lahu’l-mulk wa lahu’l-hamd wa huwa ‘ala kulli shay’in qadeer. Al-hamdu-lillaah wa subhaan-Allaah wa laa ilaaha ill-Allaah wa Allaahu akbar, wa laa hawla wa laa quwwata illa Billaah (There is no god but Allaah Alone, with no partner or associate. To Him belongs praise and His is the sovereignty, and He is Able to do all things. Praise be to Allaah, glory be to Allaah, there is no god but Allaah and Allaah is Most Great. There is no power and no strength except with Allaah), then he says, Allaahumma aghfir li (O Allaah, forgive me), or he makes du’aa’, his prayer will be granted. If he does wudoo’ and prays, his salaah will be accepted.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1086) 

 

It was narrated from Hafs ibn ‘Aasim ibn ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, from his father, that his grandfather ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘When the muezzin says “Allaahu akbar, Allaahu akbar (Allaah is Most Great),” and one of you says, “Allaahu akbar, Allaahu akbar”; then he says, “Ashhadu an laa ilaaha illa Allaah (I bear witness that there is no god except Allaah” and you say “Ashhadu an laa ilaaha illa Allaah”; then he says, “Ashhadu anna Muhammadan Rasool Allaah (I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allaah” and you say, “Ashhadu anna Muhammadan Rasool Allaah”; then he says, “Hayya ‘ala’l-salaah (come to prayer)” and you say, “Laa hawla wa laa quwwata illa Billaah”; then he says, “Hayya ‘ala’l-falaah (come to success)” and you say, “Laa hawla wa laa quwwata illa Billaah”; then he says “Allaahu akbar, Allaahu akbar,” and you say, “Allaahu akbar, Allaahu akbar”; then he says “Laa ilaaha illa Allaah” and you say, “Laa ilaaha illa Allaah” – if he says that from the heart, he will enter Paradise.’” (Narrated by Muslim in his Saheeh, 578, and by Abu Dawood in his Sunan, 443)

  – When  leaving one's house 

It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Whoever says – i.e., when he is leaving his house – “Bismillaah, tawwakaltu ‘ala Allaah, laa hawla wa laa quwwata illa Billaah (In the name of Allaah, I put my trust in Allaah, and there is no power and no strength except with Allaah),” it will be said to him, “You are taken care of and protected,” and the Shaytaan will leave him alone.’” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi in his Sunan, 3348. Abu ‘Eesa said, this is a hasan saheeh ghareeb hadeeth which we only know through this isnaad. See Saheeh al-Jaami’ by al-Albaani, 6419. It was also narrated by Abu Dawood in his Sunan (4431), where he adds: “And another shaytaan says to him, ‘What can you do with a man who has been guided, taken care of and protected?’”) 

– After praying 

It was narrated that Abu’l-Zubayr said: “Ibn al-Zubayr used to say immediately after every prayer, when he had said the salaam, ‘Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah wahdahu laa shareeka lah, lahu’l-mulk wa lahu’l-hamd wa huwa ‘ala kulli shay’in qadeer. Laa hawla wa laa quwwata illa Billaah wa laa na’budu illaa iyyaah. Lahu’l-ni’mah wa lahu’l-fadl wa lahu’l-thanaa’ al-hasan. Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah mukhliseena lahu’l-deena wa law kariha’l-kaafiroon (There is no god but Allaah Alone, with no partner or associate His is the sovereignty and to Him be praise, and He is Able to do all things. There is no power and no strength except with Allaah, and we worship none but Him.  From Him (alone) come all blessings and favours, and all good praise is due to Him. There is no god but Allaah and we make our worship purely for Him (alone) however much the disbelievers may hate that).’ He said: ‘The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say these words immediately after every prayer.’” (Narrated by Muslim in his Saheeh, 935)

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Al-Bayhaqi (14721) narrated that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of dowries is that which is most affordable.” It was narrated by Abu Dawood (2117) with the wording: “The best of marriages is that which is most affordable.” This was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani. 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Announce marriage.” (Narrated by Ahmad, 4/5; classed as saheeh by al-Haakim, 2/200; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1072).

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf when he got married, “Give a feast, even with one sheep.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1943; Muslim, 3475).


‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab delivered a speech from the minbar and said:

“Do not go to extremes with regard to the dowries of women, for if that were a sign of honour and dignity in this world or a sign of piety before Allaah, then Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would have done that before you. But he did not give any of his wives, and none of his daughters were given, more than twelve uqiyah.”

Narrated by Abu Dawood (2106); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.


Ahmad (23957) and Ibn Maajah (4095) narrated from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) that the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “One of the signs of a woman being blessed is that the process of proposing to her is made easy and the dowry is made affordable and she bears children easily.” Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ (2235).

 

Al-Tirmidhi (1114) narrated that ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: Do not go to extremes with regard to women's dowries. If that were something honourable in this world or a sign of piety before Allaah, then the Prophet of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) would have been the most entitled to it, but I never heard that the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) offered as a dowry for any of his wives or accepted as a dowry for any of his daughters anything more than twelve uqiyah. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 

An uqiyah is 40 dirhams; the weight of a dirham in grams is 2.975 g. 

Al-Nasaa’i (3369) narrated that Muhammad ibn Haatib (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “What separates halaal from haraam is the daff and singing at the wedding.” Classed as hasan by al-Albaani. 

Beating the daff at weddings is limited to women only. 

was narrated from Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said to ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf when he got married: “Give a feast even if it is with just one sheep.” Agreed upon. 

Some of the scholars said that this is obligatory, because of the reports narrated by Ahmad (22526) from Ibn Buraydah from his father, who said: When ‘Ali proposed to Faatimah (may Allaah be pleased with them both), the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “There has to be a feast for the wedding.” Al-Albaani said in Adaab al-Zafaaf (72): There is nothing wrong with its isnaad, as al-Haafiz said in al-Fath.

It is permissible to offer a wedding feast without meat. Al-Bukhaari (4213) narrated that Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) halted between Khaybar and Madeenah for three days, during which he married Safiyyah. I invited the Muslims to his wedding feast, in which there was no bread and no meat; there was nothing except what the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) commanded Bilaal to spread out of leather mats, on which dates, ghee and dried yoghurt were placed. 

 

It is mustahabb to congratulate the husband as the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) congratulated people. It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that when a man got married he would congratulate him and pray for him, saying: “May Allaah bless you and bring blessings upon you and bring you together in goodness.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (2130) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani.

 

It was narrated by Ahmad (26925) that Asma’ bint ‘Umays (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: I was the one who took care of ‘Aa’ishah and prepared her for her marriage to the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him), and I had some women with me. She said: By Allaah, we did not find any food with him except a vessel of milk. He drank from it then he passed it to ‘Aa’ishah, but the young girl felt too shy. We said: Do not turn away the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him); take it from him. She took it shyly and drank from it, then he said: Pass it to your friends. We said: We do not feel like drinking it. He said: Do not combine hunger with lies. 

Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Adab al-Zafaaf (19) 

·        Putting his hand on his wife's head and praying for her 

Because of the reports narrated by Abu Dawood (2160) from ‘Amr ibn Shu’ayb, from his father, from his grandfather, from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) who said: “ When one of you marries a woman, let him take hold of her forelock and say: O Allaah, I ask You for the goodness within her and the goodness that You have made her inclined towards, and I take refuge with You from the evil within her and the evil that You have made her inclined towards.” Classed as hasan by al-Albaani. 

·        Some of the salaf regarded it as mustahabb for them to pray two rak’ahs together: 

Ibn Abi Shaybah (17156) narrated that Shaqeeq said: A man came to ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood and said: ‘I have married a young virgin girl, but I am afraid that she may hate me.’ ‘Abdullaah said: ‘Love comes from Allaah and hatred comes from Shaytaan, who wants to make you hate what Allaah has made permissible. When she comes to you, tell her to pray two rak’ahs behind you.’”. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Adab al-Zafaaf (24). 

·          he should say when he has intercourse with his wife:  

Bismillahi Allaahumma jannibna al-Shaytaan wa jannib al-Shaytaan ma razaqtana (In the name of Allaah, O Allaah, protect us from Shaytaan and protect whatever You give to us from Shaytaan)’ because of the report narrated by al-Bukhaari (3271) from Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “When one of you wants to approach (have intercourse with) his wife, if he says: ‘Bismillahi Allaahumma jannibna al-Shaytaan wa jannib al-Shaytaan ma razaqtana (In the name of Allaah, O Allaah, protect us from Shaytaan and protect whatever You give to us from Shaytaan)’ – then if they are given a child, Shaytaan will not harm it.” 

Finally: we affirm the importance of kind treatment of the wife and fearing Allaah with regard to her, and that she should fear Allaah with regard to him (the husband). 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“and live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allaah brings through it a great deal of good”

[al-Nisa’ 4:19]. 

And the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “ If a woman offers her five daily prayers, fasts her month (Ramadan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: Enter Paradise from whichever of the Gates of Paradise you wish.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Takhreej al-Mishkaat (3254). 

And Allaah knows best.


Islam Q&A

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Assalaamu Alaikum
Sister Amana, many convert sisters and brothers  marry brothers and sisters from other cultures but do not know anything about the culture and the huge cultural pressures for those who are born in such cultures. To better understand their spouses decision and problems and help them, they need to understand their spouses culture. Just like a person comes from Asia or Arabia to Britain to do dawah needs to know certain facts about the non Muslims living in Britain. I was with a group of brothers who were doing dawah to an English. They were both telling him how Christianity was wrong. The poor boy was smiling and agreeing. Because I have been brought up in Britain I know not that a large percentage of British people are atheist . It is pointless telling an atheist how the bible is wrong, he knows that better than you even. You need to tell him how Islam is right and how atheism is wrong.

So those Western convert brothers and sisters who get married into say Asian or other Muslim families need to know about the culture and the wrong in those cultures and the pressures to conform to that culture.
 
I wasn't justifying big weddings or small weddings . I was just telling the ground realities that exist.

The email was already quite long so I decided to leave several issues for a follow up email.

Al-Tirmidhi (1114) narrated that ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: Do not go to extremes with regard to women's dowries. If that were something honourable in this world or a sign of piety before Allaah, then the Prophet of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) would have been the most entitled to it, but I never heard that the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) offered as a dowry for any of his wives or accepted as a dowry for any of his daughters anything more than twelve uqiyah. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 

An uqiyah is 40 dirhams; the weight of a dirham in grams is 2.975 g. 


Ahmad (23957) and Ibn Maajah (4095) narrated from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) that the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “One of the signs of a woman being blessed is that the process of proposing to her is made easy and the dowry is made affordable and she bears children easily.” Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ (2235).

There was a case were one Sahabi was so poor that he didn't have anything so his wife accepted her Mahr as him teaching her some Quran. Some sisters want to copy this but this was an exception circumstance. So you should accept mahr in money form etc.

The issue of big and small weddings. The wedding must be announced

Al-Bayhaqi (14721) narrated that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of dowries is that which is most affordable.” It was narrated by Abu Dawood (2117) with the wording: “The best of marriages is that which is most affordable.” This was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani. 

Some brothers and sisters think it is a form of piety to have a simple wedding were you have just a handful of people and that it. This is not correct.

There are two hadiths on how much the minimum should be for the waleema
1  Al-Bukhaari (4213) narrated that Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) halted between Khaybar and Madeenah for three days, during which he married Safiyyah. I invited the Muslims to his wedding feast, in which there was no bread and no meat; there was nothing except what the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) commanded Bilaal to spread out of leather mats, on which dates, ghee and dried yoghurt were placed. 

2 the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf when he got married, “Give a feast, even with one sheep.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1943; Muslim, 3475).

Some believe that the Minimum is one sheep because the first one was when the Prophet was on a journey so circumstances were exceptional.

In reality a sheep or can feed quite a lot of people if they eat the Sunnah way. The cost wont be that much. One sheep costs around a £100 and a bag of rice maybe £40 and that be maybe enough to feed 50-100 or more people. So you can have a big wedding if you have simple food and not like 4 to 5 dishes. Simple venue and no limousines, Roles Royse and Ferraris etc.