Category: Islamic Lifestyle

Can Muslim Women Cut their Hair
1. Hair on the Head
- Cutting vs. Shaving: Women are permitted to cut, shorten, or reduce the volume of their head hair for comfort, convenience, or beautification. However, completely shaving the head is strictly forbidden (haraam) unless required due to medical necessity or sickness.
- Allowable Length: Hair can be cut short, even above the shoulders. Prophetic traditions (Hadith) note that the wives of Prophet Muhammad cut their hair until it reached just below their ears.
- Imitation Restrictions: Haircuts must not deliberately imitate the specific styles of non-Muslim women, immoral trends, or haircuts that mimic men. Cutting the hair uniquely short in the back while leaving long sides is discouraged by scholars as a form of disfigurement.
2. Facial Hair
- The Eyebrows: Plucking, shaving, or cutting the eyebrows—either partially or fully—is strictly forbidden (haraam). In Islamic law, this is categorized as Nams (plucking the eyebrows), an action explicitly prohibited as an impermissible alteration of God’s creation.
- Other Facial Hair: It is entirely permissible to remove abnormal facial hair, such as a moustache, beard-like hairs, or hair growing on the cheeks. This is allowed because such hair is considered unnatural for women and can cause emotional distress or disfigurement.
3. Body Hair
- Permissible Areas: Women are allowed to remove hair from the upper lip, arms, legs, thighs, and underarms using shaving, waxing, or depilatory creams.
- Modesty Concerns (Awra): A woman may remove her own body hair or have her husband assist her. If another person or another Muslim woman assists, they are strictly prohibited from looking at or touching the awra
Summary of Islamic Jurisprudence on Women’s Hair
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    [ Muslim Woman's Hair Regulations ]
                                   │
         ┌─────────────────────────┼─────────────────────────┐
         ▼                         ▼                         ▼
   [ Head Hair ]            [ Facial Hair ]           [ Body Hair ]
 ──► Permissible to cut    ──► Eyebrows: Forbidden   ──► Permissible to remove
 ──► Cannot fully shave        (shaving/Plucking)          (Arms, legs, etc.)
 ──► Avoid imitation       ──► Abnormal: Permissible ──► Observe modesty
                             (Moustache/Cheeks)          (Awra rules)
```
Question :
I am doing a project on Muslim women and would like to know what is the ruling concerning a Muslimï¿½s hair. Is she allowed to cut it as much as up to her shoulder or not/ what about facial hair? Is it harem to get rid of it or not. Please answer and pray my iman is strong.
Answer :
Praise be to Allaah.
We ask Allaah Almighty to increase you in faith and to make you content with the truth.
Your question includes two issues:
1 ï¿½ the ruling on cutting womenï¿½s hair. Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
We do not know anything (to disallow) cutting womenï¿½s hair. What is forbidden is shaving it. You should not shave your hair but you may cut it and reduce its length or volume; we know of nothing wrong with that. But that should be done in a proper manner which will please you and your husband. You should come to some agreement with him on a kind of haircut that does not resemble kaafir women, because if you leave it long, it will be a lot of trouble to wash it and comb it. So if the hair is very long or thick, and the woman cuts it to reduce its length or volume, that doesnï¿½t matter. Cutting some of it will make it more beautiful, which will please both the woman and her husband. So we do not know of any reason to disallow that. But shaving it altogether is not permissible, except in the case of sickness. And Allaah is the Source of strength.
See Fataawa al-Marï¿½ah al-Muslimah, part 2, p. 515
It was narrated in Saheeh Muslim that Abu Salamah ibn ï¿½Abd al-Rahmaan said: ï¿½The wives of the Prophet < (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to cut their hair until it came just below their ears.ï¿½ (al-Hayd, 320)
Al-Nawawi said: this indicates that it is permissible for women to cut their hair short.
But women should avoid resembling kaafir women or immoral women when they cut their hair
Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan said:
It is not permissible for a woman to cut her hair short in the back and leave the sides longer, because this involves disfiguring and fooling about with her hair which is part of her beauty, and it also involves imitating the kaafir women. This prohibition also applies to haircuts which are named after kaafir women or animals, like the ï¿½Dianaï¿½ cut, named after a kaafir women, or the ï¿½lionï¿½ cut or ï¿½mouseï¿½ cut, because it is haraam to imitate the kaafirs or to imitate animals, and because that involves fooling about with a womanï¿½s hair which is part of her beauty.
Fataawa al-Marï¿½ah al-Muslimah, 2/516,517
2 ï¿½ Removing facial hair.
Shaykh Muhammad al-Saalih ibn ï¿½Uthaymeen said:
With regard to hair which is abnormal, because it grows in places where hair does not usually grow, such as a woman having a moustache or hair growing on her cheeks, there is nothing wrong with removing this, because it is abnormal and is disfiguring to the woman.
The Standing Committee was asked about women removing facial hair, and they replied as follows:
It is OK for a woman to remove hair on the upper lip, thighs, calves and arms. This is not the same as plucking (eyebrows), which is forbidden.
ï¿½Abd al-ï¿½Azeez ibn Baaz, ï¿½Abd al-Razzaaq ï¿½Afeefi, ï¿½Abd-Allaah ibn Ghadyaan, ï¿½Abd-Allaah ibn Qaï¿½ood
Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daaï¿½imah, 5/194, 195
The Standing Committee was also asked:
What is the ruling on a woman removing hair from her body; if it is permissible, then who is allowed to do that for her?
They answered:
It is permissible for her (to remove) everything except her eyebrows and the hair on her head; it is not permissible for her to remove those, or to remove anything from the eyebrows whether by shaving or any other means. She, her husband or one of her mahrams may do that for her, with regard to the parts of the body that they are permitted to see; or another woman may do that, with regard to the parts of the body that she is permitted to see
ï¿½Abd al-ï¿½Azeez ibn Baaz, ï¿½Abd al-Razzaaq ï¿½Afeefi, ï¿½Abd-Allaah ibn Ghadyaan, ï¿½Abd-Allaah ibn Qaï¿½ood
Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daaï¿½imah, 5/194
The hair of the private parts and the thighs may not be seen by either another woman or a mahram.
It is forbidden for a woman to remove her eyebrows or part of them by any means, whether it be by shaving, cutting, using a depilatory substance, because this constitutes the plucking for which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) cursed the one who does it, i.e., the women who plucks all or part of her eyebrows, claiming that it is for the purpose of beautification, or the woman who does that for her. This is changing the creation of Allaah which the Shaytaan promised to enjoin upon the sons of Adam.
See the answer to Question No. 2162, 1172, 1192
See also al-Fataawa al-Jaamiï¿½ah liï¿½l-Marï¿½ah al-Muslimah, part 3, p. 877-879
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
Muslim Men’s Dress code
Muslim men and Muslim women both have their separate dress codes.
Non Muslims usually think that the Muslim men do not have any dress code and sometimes even some Muslim men and Muslim women may think this too.
Allah has bestowed this blessing upon them as He says :
“O Children of Adam! We have bestowed raiment upon you to cover yourselves (screen your private parts) and as an adornment; and the raiment of righteousness, that is better. Such are among the Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) of Allah, that they may remember.” [Al-A`raf 7:26]
“… and has made for you garments to protect you from the heat (and cold), and coats of mail to protect you from your (mutual) violence. Thus does He perfect His Favour unto you, that you may submit yourselves to His Will (in Islam).” [An-Nahl 16:81]
(1) Covering the ‘Aurah

Allah says in the Qur’an, “O Children of Adam, take your adornment (by wearing proper clothing) for every mosque” (al-A’raf 31).
The meaning of “adornment” here is the covering of the ‘aurah. The meaning of “mosque” is “prayer.” Therefore, it means “Cover your ‘aurah for every prayer.”
Salamah ibn al-Aku’ (radiallahu ‘anhu) said to the Prophet, “O Messenger of Allah, may I pray in a long shirt?” He said, “Yes, but button it, even with just a thorn.” (Related by al-Bukhari in his Tareekh.)
The awrah (private parts to be necessarily covered) for men includes what is between the navel and the knees as stated by the Prophet (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam), so covering it is obligatory according to Islamic law.
Wearing shorts that disclose the thighs or show the shape of the buttocks, does not cover the awrah. Neither does a dress that is transparent and displays skin complexion, nor a tight dress that shows the size, shape or bends of the awrah.
(2) Covering the Pubic Region & the Thigh

The following ahadeeth are used to show that the thighs are part of the ‘aurah:
Reported Muhammad Jahsh, “The Messenger of Allah, upon whom be peace, passed by Ma’mar (radiallahu ‘anhu) while his thighs were uncovered. He said, to him, ‘O Ma’mar, cover your thighs, for they are (part of the) ‘aurah.” This is related by Ahmad, al-Haakim and al-Bukhari in At-Taareekh and in mu’allaq form in his Sahih.
Reported Jurhad (radiallahu ‘anhu), “The Messenger of Allah passed by me when the cloak I was wearing did not cover my thigh. He said, ‘Cover your thigh, for it (is part of the) ‘aurah.” This is related by Ahmad, Abu Dawud and at-Tirmidhi, who called it hasan, and by al-Bukhari in mu’allaq form in the Sahih.
(2b) Wearing Two Garments in Salat
It is preferred for a person to wear at least two garments, but he can wear just one if that is all he has.
Ibn ‘Umar (radiallahu ‘anhumaa) reported that the Prophet, upon whom be peace, said, “If one of you is going to pray, he should wear two garments, for Allah has the most right that you should look good for Him. If one does not have two garments, he should cover himself with a cloak when he prays, but not like the Jews do.” (Related by at-Tabaraani and al-Bayhaqi.)
‘Abdur-Razaaq related that Ubayy ibn Ka’b and ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ud (radiallahu ‘anhum ajma’een) had an argument. Ubayy (radiallahu ‘anhu) thought it was permissible to pray in one garment, while Ibn Mas’ud (radiallahu ‘anhu) said that that was allowed only if one had no other clothes. ‘Umar (radiallahu ‘anhu) mounted the pulpit and said, “The correct position is: If Allah gives you more provisions, you should wear more clothes. A man can gather his clothes about him, or pray in a waist cloth and a cloak, or in a waist cloth and a shirt, or in a waist cloth and a caftan, or in trousers and a cloak, or in trousers and a shirt, or in trousers and a caftan, or in leather trousers and a caftan, or in leather trousers and a shirt.’ And I (a narrator) think he said, ‘Leather trousers and a cloak.”
2 c Praying without head covering
Allah has commanded the worshipper to beautify and adorn himself for prayer, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O Children of Adam! Take your adornment (by wearing your clean clothes) while praying”
[al-A’raaf 7:31]
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:
With regard to adorning oneself for prayer, it is something that is additional to covering the ‘awrah, and it is based on the Quran, the Sunnah and scholarly consensus. In the Quran, there is the verse (interpretation of the meaning): “O Children of Adam! Take your adornment (by wearing your clean clothes) while praying” [al-A’raaf 7:31], which Allah revealed because the mushrikeen used to circumambulate the Kabah naked. Every place of prostration is a mosque (masjid), and this indicates that covering oneself for prayer and tawaaf is what is meant by adorning oneself to worship Allah. Hence the word adornment is used rather than the word covering, to demonstrate that what is meant is that a person should adorn himself and not limit it to simply covering.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
It was narrated that Ibn ‘Umar said to his freed slave Naafi’: “Do you go and meet people bareheaded?” He said: “No.” He said: “Allah has more right that you should be modest before Him.” This indicates that it is better to cover the head, but if we apply the words of Allah “O Children of Adam! Take your adornment (by wearing your clean clothes) while praying” [al-A’raaf 7:31] – to this issue, we will see that covering the head is better among people who regard covering the head as a kind of adornment. But if we are among people who do not regard that as a kind of adornment, we do not say that covering it is better or that leaving it bare is better. It is proven that the Prophet peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to pray in a turban, and the turban is a head covering. End quote.
Al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 2/166
However when praying in ihram (when on hajj or umrah)a man must not cover his head
3 A Man’s dress must not Resemble a Woman’s Dress
Ibn ‘Abbas (radiallahu ‘anhumaa) reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Allah has cursed the men who make themselves look like women and the women who make themselves look like men.” (Reported by Al-Bukhaari). Ibn ‘Abbas (radiallahu ‘anhu) also reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said: “Allah has cursed effeminate men and masculine women.” (Reported by Al-Bukhaari)
The evidence that the two sexes should not resemble one another in dress is found in the following hadith hadeeth
narrated by Abu Hurayrah (radiallahu ‘anhu): “Allah has cursed the man who wears women’s clothes and the woman who wear men’s clothes.” (Reported by Abu Dawud).
(4) Resembling Clothing of the Kuffaar
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) forbade resembling the disbelievers in general – in clothing and in other ways.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever imitates a people is one of them .” (Narrated by Abu Dawud, 4031; classed as authentic by Al-Iraqi in Takhrij Ihya’Ulum Ad-Din (1/342) and by Al-Albani in Irwa’ Al-Ghalil, 5/109.)
Abdullah ibn Amr ibn Al-`As (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) saw him wearing two garments dyed with safflower and he said to him: “These are the garments of the disbelievers; do not wear them.” (Narrated by Muslim, 2077)
Muslim (2069) narrated from `Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) that he wrote to the Muslims in Azerbaijan saying: “Beware of luxury and the clothing of the people of shirk.”
(5) Clothing Worn to Show One’s Status or to Show-Off

Abdullah ibn Umar (may Allaah be pleased with them both) that Allah’s messenger Muhammad (sallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said: “He who wears libaas ush-shuhrah (clothes of pride) in this world will be dressed in humiliating clothes on the Day of Resurrection.” (narrated by Ahmed & Abu Dawood)
6 Colour
The basic principle regarding colors of clothes is that all colors are permissible except where there is a Shari (legal) text forbidding a certain color for men or women. There are shar’i texts which encourage the wearing of certain colors and forbid the wearing of other colors
Black
Umm Khaalid bint Khaalid (radiallahu ‘anhaa) said: “The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) was brought some clothes, among which was a small black khameesah [garment]. He said, ‘Who do you think we should give this to?’ The people remained silent. Then he said, ‘Bring me Umm Khaalid,’ and she was carried to him. He took the khameesah in his hand and put it on her, and said, ‘May you live long and wear it out.’ There was a green or yellow mark on it, and he said, ‘O Umm Khaalid, this is sanaah (good),’ and sanaah is an Abyssinian word.” (Reported by Al-Bukhaari).
Jaabir (radiallahu ‘anhu) said: “I saw the Messenger of Allaah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) on the day of the Conquest of Makkah, wearing a black turban.” (Reported by Muslim).
‘Aa’ishah (radiallahu ‘anhaa) said: “I made a black burdah (cloak) for the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam), and he wore it, but when he sweated in it he detected the smell of wool on it, so he took it off, because he used to like pleasant smells.” (Reported by Abu Dawood)
Black is permissible for both men and women alike.
One of the false innovations (bid’ah) connected to this colour is the practice of deliberately wearing black at times of bereavement, which also involves imitating the Christians.
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen said (Fataawa Islamiyah, 3/313): “Wearing black at times of bereavement is a false symbol that has no basis. At times of bereavement people should do what is commanded in Islam, which is to say ‘Innaa Lillaahi wa inna ilayhi raaji’oon. Allahumma ajirni fi museebati wa’khluf li khayran minhaa (Truly! To Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return. O Allah, reward me for my calamity and compensate me with something better than it).’ If a person says this with faith and the hope of reward, Allah will reward him for that and will replace what he has lost with something better.” He also said: “Allocating certain clothes for mourning is an act of bid’ah (innovation) in our opinion, and because it could indicate that a person is discontent with the decree of Allah.”
Ruling on clothes dyed with saffron
it is haram for men to wear garments dyed with saffron.
The evidence for that is the following hadith
Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) forbade men to dye their clothes with saffron. (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 5846; Muslim, 2101)
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymin (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
“The correct view is that wearing clothing dyed with safflower is haram for men, and the same applies to clothing dyed with saffron.” (Ash-Sharh al-Mumti‘, 2/218) (See: at-Tamhid, 2/180; al-Insaf, 1/481; al-Muhalla, 4/76; al-Majmu‘, 4/440; Hashiyat Ibn ‘Abidin, 5/228; al-Mughni, 2/299)
It says in al-Mawsu‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah, 6/132-136:
“The jurists agreed that it is mustahabb to wear white clothing…
The jurists agreed that it is permissible to wear yellow so long as it is not dyed with safflower or saffron.”
Can women wear coloured clothes?
It is also permissible for women to wear whatever colours they like, so long as they do not display themselves in front of non-mahram men. Those scholars who spoke about the prohibition on wearing clothing dyed with safflower and saffron limited that to men only.
Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr said in at-Tamhid, 16/123:
“With regard to women, there is no difference of opinion among the scholars that it is permissible for them to wear clothing dyed various shades of red or pink.”
White

Abu Dharr (radiallahu ‘anhu) said: “I came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and he was wearing a white garment and was asleep. I came back to him (later), and he had woken up.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari).
Al-Bukhaari reported that Sa’d (radiallahu ‘anhu) said: “I saw on the left of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and on his right two men wearing white clothes on the day of Uhud. I never saw them before or since.” These two men were Jibreel and Mikaa’eel, as al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar mentioned.
White is a colour recommended (mustahabb) for the living to wear and for the dead to be shrouded in, as was stated in the following hadeeth
Ibn ‘Abbas (radiallahu ‘anhumaa), said: “The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said: ‘Wear your white clothes, for they are the best of your clothes, and shroud your dead in them.’” (Reported by Abu Dawood and At-Tirmidhi).
White is also the preferred colour for men’s ihraam (special garments for Hajj), which consists of an izaar (lower garment) and a rida’ (upper garment).
Green
Abu Ramthah (radiallahu ‘anhu) said: “I saw the Messenger of Allaah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) wearing two green garments.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, who said, this is a ghareeb hasan hadeeth, and by al-Nisaa’i).
Red
wearing pure red is forbidden for men, but not for women, because of the hadeeth of
Ibn ‘Umar (radiallahu ‘anhumaa): “The Messenger of Allaah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) forbade mafdam” (reported by Imaam Ahmad and Ibn Maajah). Mafdam is something that is filled with red safflower dye. According to the commentary of al-Sindi on Sunan al-Nisaa’i, mafdam is something that is filled with red. It was reported that if ‘Umar (radiallahu ‘anhu) saw a man wearing a garment dyed red with safflower, he would pull him aside and say, “Leave this for the women.” (Reported by At-Tabari).
Abd-Allah ibn ‘Amr (radiallahu ‘anhumaa) said: “A man who was wearing two red garments passed by the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) and greeted him with salaam, but the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) did not respond.” (Reported by Abu Dawood and At-Tirmidhi).
Garments that contain another colour such as white, black, etc. are not forbidden. This is how the ahaadeeth that speak about the red hullah should be interpreted, such as the hadeeth of al-Bara’ (radiallahu ‘anhu)
al-Bara’ said: “The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) was of average height. I saw him wearing a red hullah, and I have never seen anything better than it.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari).
The Yemeni hullah usually has stripes of red and another colour, it is not pure red.
Ibn al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy on him, said: “The clothing (of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)): Abul-Waleed told us Shu’bah told us from Abu Ishaaq who heard al-Bara’ (radiallahu ‘anhu) saying: ‘The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was of average height. I saw him wearing a red hullah, and I have never seen anything better than it.’ The hullah consists of an izaar and a rida’ (lower and upper garments). It is a mistake to think that it was pure red and not mixed with any other color. The red hullah is two Yemeni garments woven with red and black stripes like all the other Yemeni garments. But pure red is emphatically forbidden.
In Saheeh al-Bukhaari it is stated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) forbade red saddlecloths (or blankets) . With regard to red garments in general and red broadcloth, etc., the issue is still under discussion, but it is very disliked (makrooh).”
(7) Wearing Clothes Below the Ankles (Al-Isbaal)
One of the things which people treat as insignificant, although it is serious in the sight of Allah, is isbaal, which means lengthening one’s clothes below the ankles; some people let their clothes touch the ground, and some allow them to drag on the floor behind them.
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said; “Whatever of the lower garment is beneath the ankles is in the Fire.” (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 5450)
Abu Dharr narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “There are three to whom Allah will not speak on the Day of Resurrection and will not look at them or praise them, and theirs will be a painful torment.” The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) repeated it three times. Abu Dharr said: “May they be doomed and lost; who are they, O Messenger of Allah?” He said: “The one who lets his garment hang beneath his ankles, the one who reminds others of favours he has done, and the one who sells his product by means of false oaths.” (Narrated by Muslim, 106)
The person whose isbaal is the result of arrogance will be more severely punished than the one who has no such intention, as the
Prophet (sallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said: “Whoever trails his garment out of pride, Allaah will not even look at him on the Day of Resurrection.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari) – this is because he is combining two sins in one action.
Abd-Allah ibn Mas’ud narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “No one will enter Paradise in whose heart is a mustard-seed of arrogance.” A man said: “What if a man likes his clothes to look nice and his shoes to look nice?” He said: “Allah is Beautiful and loves beauty; arrogance means rejecting the truth and looking down on people.” (Narrated by Muslim, 91)
8 Silk
Ali ibn Abi Talib (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) took a piece of silk in his right hand and a piece of gold in his left, held them aloft and said: “These are haram for the males of my ummah and permitted for the females.” (Reported by Ibn Majah, 2/1189)
Abu Musa (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Gold and silk have been permitted for the females of my ummah and forbidden for the males.”
Indeed, a stern warning has been narrated concerning this matter, as was reported by al-Bukhari (5853) and Muslim (2069) in the hadith of Ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with them both), who reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Silk is only worn in this world by the one who will have no share of the pleasure of the Hereafter.”
Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever wears silk in this world will not wear it in the Hereafter.” (Reported by al-Bukhari, 5832)
When can men wear silk?
People who are sick may also be permitted to wear silk to relieve their suffering, as
Anas reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) allowed ‘Abd al-Rahman ibn ‘Awf and Ibn al-Zubayr (may Allah be pleased with them both) to wear silk because of a skin irritation that they suffered from. (Reported by al-Bukhari, 10/295, and Muslim, 3/1646)
The scholars also allowed men to wear garments containing four fingers’ width of silk, because of the following hadith
‘Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) said that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) forbade the wearing of silk except for an area the width of two fingers, or three or four.” (Reported by Muslim, 3/1644)
With regard to the matters mentioned in the question, the issue is not what a thing is called but what it really is. If the item that a man is going to wear is made of natural silk, then it is not permissible for him to wear it, no matter how it looks or feels, and no matter whether it is a shirt, pants, socks, a necktie or anything else.
9 Underwear

Underwear can be worn but not when you are in a state of ihram for hajj or umrah.
The wearing of pants (sirwaal) was known at the time of the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) because of the hadeeth of Ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with them both) concerning what the muhrim (person in a state of ihraam for Hajj or ‘Umrah) is forbidden to wear: ‘The muhrim should not wear a shirt or turban or pants.’ (Agreed upon).
10 Beard
A Muslim man must not shave off his beard.
Al-Bukhaari, Muslim and others narrated that ‘Abd-Allah ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said: the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Trim the moustache and leave the beard.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5443; Muslim, 600.
According to another report: ‘Be different from the mushrikeen: cut the moustache and let the beard grow.” Narrated by Muslim, 602.
And Muslim (383) narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Trim the moustache and let the beard grow; be different from the Magians (Zoroastrians).”
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Cut the moustache and let the beard grow; be different from the unbelievers.” (al-Bukhari, al-Libas, 5442; Muslim, al-Taharah, 382)
hadith of Zayd ibn Arqam in which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever does not remove any of his moustache is not one of us.” (Classed as sahih by al-Tirmidhi).
Scholars say that the moustache must not go below the lips and thus it must be trimmed so that it does not go below the lips
11 Hair
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) commanded [one of his Companions] to change grey hair , when he said, “Change this grey hair, but avoid black.” (Narrated by Muslim, Kitab al-Libas wa’l-Zinah, 2102)
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) recommended combing hair, and said, “Whoever has hair, let him take care of it.” (Abu Dawud, Kitab al-Tarajjul, 3632. Al-Albani said in Sahih Sunan Abi Dawud: it is hasan sahih. Hadith no. 3509)
he one who cuts his hair on the sides of his head more than the middle comes under the heading of qaza’, which is forbidden.
Al-Bukhari (5921) and Muslim (2120) narrated from Ibn ‘Umar that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) forbade qaza’. Nafi’ (one of the narrators of the hadith) said, explaining qaza’ : Shaving part of a boy’s head and leaving part.
Al-Nasai (5048) and Abu Dawud (4195) narrated from Ibn ‘Umar that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) saw a boy part of whose head had been shaved and part of it left. He told them not to do that and said: “Shave all of it or leave all of it .” Al-Albani classed it as sahih in Sahih al-Nasai.
12 Plucking eyebrows is haram
13 wearing wigs is haram.
14 Tattoos
Permanent tattoos is haram. Those who had them done should repent and try to get them removed when it is possible. Those who had them before they became Muslim then their past sins are already forgiven but try to remove them when it is possible to do so.
15 Rings
Muslim men cannot wear gold rings but can wear Silver rings
NOTE
The rules for MUSLIM Women’s clothing, hair and attire is different to that of Muslim men so read Muslim women’s dress code in detail
ZAKAT AL-FITR
What Is Zakat Al fitr
Zakat al-Fitr is a kind of charity (sadaqah) that is obligatory at the time of breaking the fast of Ramadan. The word zakat is connected by idaafah (genitive structure in Arabic grammar) to fitr because the occasion of breaking the fast is the reason why this zakat becomes obligatory.
Reasons for zakat al-fitr and what Islam says about it
Ibn ‘Abbaas said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) made zakaat al-fitr obligatory as a means of purifying the fasting person from idle talk and foul language, and to feed the poor. Whoever pays it before the prayer, it is an accepted zakaat, and whoever pays it after the prayer, it is just a kind of charity (sadaqah).” (Reported by Abu Dawood, 1371. Al-Nawawi said: Abu Dawood reported it from Ibn ‘Abbaas with a hasan isnaad).
“Purifying” means purifying the soul of the one who has fasted Ramadaan. With regard to the word “foul language”, Ibn al-Atheer said: “ ‘Foul language’ refers to obscene speech. ‘Feeding [the poor]’ refers to food that is edible. ‘Whoever pays it before the prayer’ means before Salaat al-‘Eid. ‘It is an accepted zakaat’ – here zakaat means sadaqat al-fitr. ‘Just a kind of charity’ means a kind of charity that could be given at any time.” (‘Awn al-Ma’bood Sharh Abi Dawood).
It was reported that ‘Umar ibn ‘Abd al-‘Azeez and Abu’l-‘Aaliyah said: “He [the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)] paid zakat al-fitr then he went out for the prayer – i.e., Salaat al-‘Eid. (Al-Jassaas, Ahkaam al-Qur’aan, part 3, Soorat al-A’laa).
Rulings on zakaat al-fitr
The correct view is that it is fard (obligatory), because Ibn ‘Umar said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) made zakaat al-fitr obligatory,” and because of the consensus of the scholars (ijmaa’) that it is fard. (Al-Mughni, part 2, Baab Sadaqat al-Fitr).
When it has to be given
It becomes obligatory when the sun sets on the last day of Ramadaan. Anyone who gets married, has a baby born to him or becomes Muslim before the sun sets on that day, has to give zakaat al-fitr [on behalf of himself and/or his new wife or new baby], but if that happens after sunset, he does not have to give it… Whoever dies after sunset on the night of fitr, sadaqat al-fitr must be given on his behalf. This is what Ahmad stated.” (Al-Mughni, part 2, Fasl Waqt Wujoob Zakaat al-Fitr).
Who is obliged to pay it?
1 Zakaat al-fitr is obligatory only on Muslims who are able to pay it.
2 Ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) made zakaat al-fitr, one saa’ of dates or one saa’ of barley, obligatory on the Muslims, slave and free, male and female, young and old.” (Al-Bukhaari, 1407)
3 It is obligatory on those who are able to pay it. Al-Shaafa’i said: “Everyone who, at the beginning of Shawwaal, has enough food for himself and those whom he is supporting, for that day, and has enough to give zakaat al-fitr on behalf of them and himself, should give it on behalf of them and himself. If he only has enough to give on behalf of some of them, then he should give on behalf of some of them. If he only has enough for himself and those whom he is supporting, then he is not obliged to give zakaat al-fitr on his own behalf or on behalf of those whom he is supporting.” (Al-Umm, part 2, Baab Zakaat al-Fitr).
4 Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “The one who is in financial difficulty is not obliged to give [zakaat al-fitr]; there is no difference among the scholars in this regard… The obligation is determined by whether or not a person can afford it. Whoever has one saa’ more than he needs for himself and those whom he is obliged to support on the night and day of Eid, has enough [is not in financial difficulty]. Whoever does not have anything more than he needs is in financial difficulty, so he is not obliged to pay anything in this case. (Al-Majmoo’, part 6, Shuroot Wujoob Sadaqat al-Fitr).
5 The Muslim should give on his own behalf and on behalf of those on whom he spends, such as wives and relatives, if they cannot give it on their own behalf. If they are able to, it is better for them to give it themselves, because the command is addressed to them in the first place.Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) made zakaat al-fitr, one saa’ of dates or one saa’ of barley, obligatory on the Muslims, slave and free, male and female, young and old, and commanded that it should be given before the people went out to pray.” (Al-Bukhaari, 1407) Al-Shaafa’i (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “The guardian of the insane and the minor should give zakaat al-fitr on their behalf and on behalf of those for whom they [the insane and minor] may be responsible, just as the sane person should give on his own behalf… If there is a kaafir among those whom he is supporting, he does not have to give zakaat al-fitr on his behalf, because he cannot be purified by zakaah.” (Al-Umm, part 2, Baab Zakaat al-Fitr).The author of al-Muhadhdhab said: “Al-Musannif (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: ‘If someone has to pay zakaat al-fitr on his own behalf and on behalf of those whom he is supporting, if they are Muslim and if has more than he needs to spend on them that he can give, then the mother and father, and grandparents and great-grandparents, etc., may have to pay zakaat al-fitr on behalf of their children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren, etc., and the children may have to pay zakaat al-fitr on behalf of their parents and grandparents and great-grandparents, etc., – if they are obliged to spend on their maintenance. (Al-Majma’, part 6).A man has to pay on behalf of himself and his wife – even if she has money of her own – and his children and parents if they are poor, and his daughter if she is married but the marriage has not yet been consummated. If his son is rich, he does not have to give zakaat al-fitr on his behalf. A husband has to give zakaat al-fitr on behalf of a divorced wife whose divorce (talaaq) is not yet final (i.e., she is still in the ‘iddah of a first or second talaaq), but not in the case of a rebellious wife or one whose divorce is final. A son does not have to give zakaat al-fitr on behalf of a poor father’s wife because he is not obliged to spend on her.[When giving zakaat al-fitr], one should start with the closest people first, so he gives it on behalf of himself, then his wife, then his children, then the rest of his relatives in order of closeness, following the pattern laid out in the rules governing inheritance.Al-Shaafa’i, may Allaah have mercy on him, said: “Who I say is obliged to give zakaat al-fitr, if a child is born to him, or he takes possession of a slave, or someone becomes one of his dependents, at any time during the last day of Ramadaan, then the suns sets on the night of the crescent of Shawwaal, he has to give zakaat al-fitr on that person’s behalf.” (Al-Umm, Baab Zakaat al-Fitr al-Thaani).It is not obligatory to give zakaat al-fitr on behalf of a foetus that is still in the mother’s womb, but if this is done voluntarily, there is nothing wrong with it.If someone who is obliged to give zakaat al-fitr dies before giving it, it must be given from his estate… even if the person who was supporting him also dies, the obligation still stands. (Al-Mughni, part 2).If a servant has set wages that are paid to him daily or monthly, the employer does not have to give zakaat al-fitr on his behalf, because he is a hired worker, and one is not obliged to spend on a hired worker. (al-Mawsoo’ah, 23/339).Concerning giving zakaat al-fitr on behalf of an orphan, Imaam Maalik (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “The guardian should give zakaat al-fitr on behalf of the orphans some of whose wealth is under his control, even if they are minors.” (Al-Mudawwanah, part 1).Amount of zakaat al-fitrThe amount to be given is one saa’ of food, according to the measure of saa’ used by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), because of the following hadeeth.- Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “At the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) we used to give it in the form of a saa’ of food…” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 1412).The weight of the saa’ [which is a measure of volume] varies according to the type of food concerned, so when giving zakaat al-fitr by weight, one must make sure that what is given is equivalent to a saa’ of that type of food. A saa’ is approximately equivalent to three kilograms of rice. Types of things that may be given What should be given is food for human consumption, such as dates, wheat, rice or other kinds of food that humans eat. It is reported in al-Saheehayn from Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with them both) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) made zakaat al-fitr, one saa’ of dates or one saa’ of barley, obligatory on the Muslims, slave and free, male and female,. (At that time, barley was one of the foods they ate). (Al-Bukhaari, 1408)Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “At the time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), we used to give a saa’ of food on the day of Fitr.” Abu Sa’eed said: “And our food was barley, raisins, aqit (dried yoghurt) and dates.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 1408).It should be given in the form of the staple food that is used locally, whether it is wheat, rice, dates or lentils…Al-Shaafa’i (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “If the staple food of a people is corn, pearl millet (dukhn), thin-husked barley (sult), rice or any grain on which zakaat is obligatory, then they may give it as zakaat al-fitr. (Al-Shaafa’i, al-Umm, part 2, Baab al-Rajul yakhtalifu qootuhu)Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Our companions said: ‘It is a condition of giving something as zakaat al-fitr that it should be one of the foodstuffs on which zakaat is paid at the rate of one-tenth (i.e., zakaah of grains and fruits). Nothing else is acceptable except aqit (dried yoghurt), cheese and milk.’”Al-Maawardi said: “This is the case even though some of the people who live on islands and others have fish or eggs as their staple food; these are not acceptable (as zakaat al-fitr) and there is no difference (among the scholars concerning this). As regards meat, the correct view is that stated by al-Shaafa’i and confirmed by al-Musannif and the companions in all that was narrated from them: that it is not acceptable (as zakaat al-fitr), and this is the unanimous view (of the scholars)… Our companions said: ‘This is the case even if their staple food is fruits on which they do not have to give one-tenth as zakaat, such as figs etc. These are not acceptable (as zakaat al-fitr) at all.” (Al-Majmoo’, part 6: al-Waajib fi Zakaat al-Fitr).Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “If it was said, ‘You must give a saa’ of dates everywhere, whether it is the staple food or not,’ this is a disputed matter which is subject to ijtihaad. There are some people who say that it is obligatory, and others who say that in each country it is obligatory to give a saa’ of whatever is the staple food there, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) specified five types of food for zakaat al-fitr, so in each country they can give the equivalent of a saa’ of their staple food. This is more correct, and is closer to the principles of sharee’ah, for how can you make it obligatory for people whose staple food is fish, for example, or rice or pearl millet, to give dates? … And Allaah is the Source of strength. (I’laam al-Muwaqqa’een, part 2, al-Qiyaas). It is permissible to give pasta (“macaroni”) that is made from wheat, but one must make certain that the weight is equivalent to the weight of a saa’ of wheat.As for giving zakaat al-fitr in the form of money, this is not permissible at all, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said that it must be given in the form of food, not money. He clearly stated that it is to be given in the form of food, so it is not permissible to give it in any other form and Islam wants it to be given openly, not secretly. The Sahaabah gave zakaat al-fitr in the form of food, and we should follow, not innovate. The giving of zakaat al-fitr in the form of food is regulated by the measure of saa’, and if it were to be given in the form of money, it could not be regulated in this manner: according to the price of what would it be worked out and given? There are obvious benefits to giving it in the form of staple foods, such as at times when businessmen are hoarding certain goods, prices have gone up, or at times of war and inflation. If someone were to say, “But money is more useful for the poor, because then they can buy what they want, and they might need something other than food, so the poor person might sell the food and lose money.” The response to this is that there are other sources for meeting the needs of the poor with regard to shelter, clothing and so on, which are provided for from the zakaat paid on people’s wealth (zakaat al-maal), general charity and other kinds of donations. Let us put things into the proper Islamic perspective and adhere to what was set out by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who told us that giving a saa’ of food to feed the poor is obligatory. If we give food to a poor person, he will eat it and will benefit from it sooner or later, because it is the kind of food he uses anyway.On this basis, it is not permissible, for the purposes of zakaat al-fitr, to give money for a person to pay off his debts or to cover the cost of surgery for a sick person or to pay for tuition for a needy student and so on. There are other sources for this kind of help, as stated above.The time for giving zakaat al-fitrIt should be given before the Eid prayer, as is stated in the hadeeth that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) “commanded that it should be given before the people went out to pray.” (Al-Bukhaari, 1407).There is a time when it is mustahabb (preferable) to give it and a time when it is permissible to give it.The time when it is mustahabb to give it is on the day of Eid, because of the hadeeth quoted above. For this reason it is Sunnah to delay the Eid prayer on Eid al-Fitr so as to allow enough time for those who have to give zakaat al-fitr to do so, and to have breakfast before coming out. On the other hand, it is Sunnah to hasten the Eid prayers on Eid al-Adhaa so that the people can go and offer their sacrifices and eat from them.The time when it is permissible to give zakaat al-fitr is one or two days before Eid. In Saheeh al-Bukhaari it is reported that Naafi’ said: “Ibn ‘Umar used to give on behalf of the young and the old, and he even used to give on behalf of my sons. He would give to those who took it, and it would be given a day or two before (Eid) al-Fitr.”(“Those who took it” refers to those who were appointed by the imaam to collect the sadaqat al-fitr).Naafi’ said: “Ibn ‘Umar used to send zakaat al-fitr to the one who was collecting it two or three days before (‘Eid) al-Fitr.” (al-Mudawwanah, part 1, Baab Ta’jeel al-Zakaah qabla huloolihaa).It is disliked (makrooh) to delay giving it until after Salaat al-‘Eid; some scholars said that this is haraam and is counted as qadaa’ (making up a duty that has not been performed on time), on the basis of the hadeeth, “Whoever pays it before the prayer, it is an accepted zakaat, and whoever pays it after the prayer, it is just a kind of charity.” (Reported by Abu Dawood, 1371).It says in ‘Awn al-Ma’bood Sharh Abi Dawood: “Obviously, the one who gives zakaat al-fitr after the prayer is like one who did not give it, because they have in common the fact that they did not give this obligatory charity. Most of the scholars think that giving it before Salaat al-‘Eid is only mustahabb, and they confirmed that it is OK to give it at any time until the end of the day of Fitr, but this opinion is refuted by the hadeeth. With regard to delaying it until after the day of Eid, Ibn Ruslaan said: “This is haraam by consensus, because it is zakaah, so the one who delays it must be committing a sin, as is the case when one delays a prayer.”So it is haraam to delay giving it for no good reason, because this defeats the purpose, which is to save the poor from having to ask on the day of joy. If a person delays giving it with no excuse, he has committed a sin but he still has to make it up.Zakaat al-fitr has to be handed over to someone who is entitled to it or someone who has been appointed to collect it, at the right time before the Eid prayer. If a man wants to give it to a particular person, but cannot find him or a trustee who can accept it on his behalf, and he is afraid that time is running out, he has to give it to another entitled person, and not delay giving it. If a person wants to give his zakaat al-fitr to a specific needy person, and is afraid that he may not see him at the appropriate time, he should tell him to appoint someone to accept it on his behalf, or to appoint him (the giver) to take it from himself on his behalf. Then when the time comes, he can take it to him in a bag or whatever, or keep it for him as a trust until he sees him.If the one who wants to give zakaat appoints someone else to give it on his behalf, he is still responsible for it until he is certain that his deputy has carried out his instructions. (Majaalis Shahr Ramadaan: Ahkaam Zakaat al-Fitr, by Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen).To whom it may be givenZakaat al-Fitr may be given to the eight categories of people to whom zakaat al-maal may be given. This is the opinion of the majority. According to the Maalikis, one of the opinions of Ahmad and the opinion of Ibn Taymiyyah, it should be given exclusively to the poor and needy.
6 (Al-Shaafa’i said): “Zakaat al-fitr should be divided among those among whom zakaat al-maal is divided, and it should not be spent anywhere else… It should be shared out among the poor and needy, slaves who have made a contract to purchase their freedom from their masters, debtors, those who are fighting in the way of Allaah, and wayfarers. (Kitaab al-Umm: Baab Day’ah Zakaat al-Fitr qabla Qasmihaa)
7 Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, after quoting the hadeeth of Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Mu’aadh (may Allaah be pleased with him): “Tell them that they have to give sadaqah (charity) that is to be taken from their wealth and given to the poor”: “It is not permissible to give any part of zakaah to a kaafir, whether it is zakaat al-fitr or zakaat al-maal… Maalik, al-Layth, Ahmad and Abu Thawr said: ‘They (i.e., kaafirs) should not be given it.’”Zakaah should be given to the poor, those who have overwhelming debts, and those whose salaries are not enough to last until the end of the month, in accordance with the level of their needs.It is not permissible for the one who gives zakaat al-fitr to buy it back from the one to whom he has given it. (Fataawaa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen).Payment and distribution
8 It is preferable for the person who is giving to share it out himself. (Al-Shaafa’i said): “I prefer to share out zakaat al-fitr myself rather than give it to the one who is collecting it.
9 Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Al-Shaafa’i said in al-Mukhtasar: ‘Zakaat al-fitr is to be shared out among those to whom zakaat al-maal is shared out. I prefer that it should be given to relatives on whom it is not obligatory to spend at all.’ He said: ‘If he prefers to give it to the one who is collecting it, this should be fine, in sha Allaah… but it is better to share it out himself… If he gives it to the Muslim leader or the collector or the one who is collecting the people’s zakaat al-fitr, and he is given permission to give it, this is fine, but sharing it out himself is better than all of this.’” (al-Majmoo’, part 6).
10 It is permissible to appoint a trustworthy person to hand it over to those who are entitled to it, but if he is not trustworthy, then it is not allowed. ‘Abd-Allaah ibn al-Mu’ammal said: “I heard Ibn Abi Mulaykah, when a man was saying to him, ‘So-and-so told me to leave my zakaat al-fitr in the mosque,’ Ibn Abi Mulaykah said, ‘He does not know what he is talking about. You go and share it out (yourself), otherwise Ibn Hishaam (the governor who was collecting it in the mosque) will give it to his guards and whoever he wants’ (i.e., he would give it to people who were not entitled to it).” (Al-Umm: Baab day’at Zakaat al-Fitr qabla Qasmihaa).
Imaam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) stated that it is permissible to share out one saa’ among a group of people, or to give many saa’s to one person…
Maalik said: “there is nothing wrong with a man giving sadaqat al-fitr on behalf of himself and his family to one needy person.” (al-Mudawwanah, part 1, Baab fi Qasm Zakaat al-Fitr).
If one is giving less than a saa’ to a poor person, this must be pointed out, because he might use it to pay his own zakaat al-fitr.
It is permissible for a poor person, if he receives zakaat al-fitrah from someone and he has more than he needs, to give it on his own behalf or on behalf of one of those who are dependent on him, if he is sure that the food is OK (i.e., it is the right type of food and the quantity is sufficient).
Summery
1 The Muslim should give on his own behalf and on behalf of those on whom he spends, such as wives and relatives, if they cannot give it on their own behalf. If they are able to, it is better for them to give it themselves, because the command is addressed to them in the first.
If there is a non Muslim among those whom you are supporting, you do not have to give zakaat al-fitr on his/her behalf.
2 Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) made zakaat al-fitr, one saa’ of dates or one saa’ of barley, obligatory on the Muslims
The weight of the saa’ [which is a measure of volume] varies according to the type of food concerned, so when giving zakaat al-fitr by weight, one must make sure that what is given is equivalent to a saa’ of that type of food.
A saa’ is approximately equivalent to three kilograms of rice.
Types of things that may be given What should be given is food for human consumption, such as dates, wheat, rice or other kinds of food that humans eat.
3 If there are no poor Muslims in your locality then many Masjids and Muslim charities can buy the Saa of rice etc on your behalf and give that to poor Muslims before the Eid prayer. You much give them the money several days before Eid so that they have enough time to send the money to their volunteers/workers in poor areas of the world who will then buy the food and give it out to the people before the Eid prayer.
Just to give you an example. in 2026 Zakaat al fitr for one person was equal to £5 (in the UK). It may be different for your country and next year so please check with the Masjid or charity you are giving zakat al fitr.
How to raise Muslim Children
In sha Allah this topic will be coming soon
Raising and educating children is one of the duties required of parents. Allah has enjoined that in the Quran, and the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) also enjoined that. Allah says :
“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allah, but do that which they are commanded” [Al-Tahrim 66:6]
Imam al-Tabari said, commenting on this verse:
“Here Allah is saying: O you who believe in Allah and His Messenger, “Ward off yourselves” teach one another that which will protect those who do it from the Fire and ward it off from them, if it is done in obedience to Allah and they do it in obedience to Allah. The phrase “and your families against a Fire” means, and teach your families to do acts of obedience to Allah so that they may protect themselves from the Fire.” (Tafsir al-Tabari, 18/165 )
Al-Qurtubi said:
“Muqatil said: This is a duty that he owes to himself, his children, his family and his male and female slaves. Ilkiya said: We have to teach our children and families religious commitment and goodness, and what they cannot do without of etiquette. This is what Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And enjoin As-Salah (the prayer) on your family, and be patient in offering them [i.e. the Sala (prayers)].” [Ta-Ha 20:132]
It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allah ibn ‘Umar said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) say: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ruler is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his family and is responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s household and is responsible for her flock. A servant is the shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for his flock.” He said: and I think he said, “A man is the shepherd of his father’s wealth and is responsible for his flock. Each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock.” (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 583; Muslim, 1829)
‘Abd-Allah ibn ‘Amr (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “It is sufficient sin for a man if he neglects those on whom he is obliged to spend.” (Narrated by Abu Dawud, 1692; classed as hasan by Shaykh al-Albani in Sahih al-Jami’, 4481)
‘Aishah, the wife of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), said: A woman came to me with two daughters and asked me for food, and I could not find anything except one date which I gave to her. She shared it between her two daughters, then she got up and went out. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) came in and I told him what had happened. He said: “Whoever is in charge of any of these girls and treats them well, they will be a shield for him against the Fire.” (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 5649; Muslim, 2629)
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) in the sahih hadith (authentic narration): “Fear Allah and treat your children fairly.” (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 2447; Muslim, 1623).
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) referred to this in the hadith narrated by Muslim (1623) when he said to the father of al-Nu’man, “Would you like them to honour you equally?” He said, “Yes.” In other words, if you want them all to honour you equally, then be fair in giving gifts to them.
In sha Allah we will be doing a comprehensive article on this as we live in very challenging times not only those living in the west but even in Muslim countries.
Sex before Marriage in Islam
Sex before marriage is not allowed in Islam. It is haram (forbidden, unlawful ).
If a single person has sex it is called fornication and if a married person has sex with a person with whom they are not married to then the married person is committing Adultery.
In Arabic we call both fornication and Adultery zinaa.
Zinaa, in Arabic, means immorality, This is a major sin in Islam.
Allah says
“And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Fahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin, and an evil way that leads one to Hell unless Allah forgives him).”

(Quran 17:32)
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “There are three to whom Allah will not speak on the Day of Resurrection, nor praise, nor look at; theirs will be a painful torment: an old man who commits zinaa, a king who lies, and a poor man who is arrogant.” (Reported by Muslim, 1/102-103).
Among the worst of incomes is the earnings of a prostitute which she takes before committing zinaa, and the immoral woman who earns her living by selling herself is deprived of having her prayers answered when the gates of heaven are opened at midnight. (The hadeeth is in Saheeh al-Jaami’ , 2971)
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “When an adulterer commits illegal sexual intercourse, then he is not a believer at the time he is doing it, and when a drinker of an alcoholic liquor drinks it, then he is not a believer at the time of drinking it, and when a thief steals, then he is not a believer at the time of stealing, and when a robber robs, and the people look at him, then he is not a believer at the time of doing robbery.” (al-Bukhari)
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “When a man commits zina, faith departs from him and hovers like a cloud over him, then when he stops that, faith returns to him.”
Narrated by Abu Dawood (4690), at-Tirmidhi (2625). Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) explained: If one of you were to be stabbed in the head with a piece of iron it would be better for him than if he were to touch a woman whom it is not permissible for him to touch. (Reported by al-Tabaraani; see also Saheeh al-Jaami, 5045).
It is narrated that Samurah ibn Jundub said: When the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) had prayed, he would turn to us and say: “Who among you saw a dream last night?” If anyone had seen a dream, he would tell him and say whatever Allah willed. One day he said: “Did any of you see a dream last night?” We said: No. He said: “But last night I dreamt that two men came to me and they took me by the hand and led me out to the holy land. … Then we moved on to a hole like a tannoor (a kind of oven) that was narrow at the top and wide at the bottom. A fire was lit underneath it, and when it came close they rose up until they almost came out, and when it died down they went back into it. In it were naked men and women. I said: Who are these? They said: Move on. So we moved on.” Al-Bukhaari (1386)
According to another report : “… So we went on, and came to something like a tannoor (a kind of oven). – I [the narrator] think he said: In it there was much noise and voices. We looked into it and saw naked men and women. A flame of fire was reaching them from underneath, and when it reached them, they cried out loudly. I said to them, ‘Who are these?’ They said to me, ‘Move on, move on.’ … ‘As for the naked men and women whom you saw in a structure that resembled an oven, they are the adulterers and adulteresses.’” al-Bukhaari (7047)
Allah says:
“But when Allah wills a people’s punishment, there can be no turning back of it, and they will find besides Him no protector”
[al-Ra’d 13:10]
In this life the Islamically prescribed punishments for those who commit fornication and Adultery are as follows
The male or female who commits fornication are as follows:
Allah says:
“The fornicatress and the fornicator, flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not pity withhold you in their case, in a punishment prescribed by Allah, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day. And let a party of the believers witness their punishment”
[al-Noor 24:2]
The person being punished should be flogged standing, according to the majority of scholars; he (or She) should not be made to lie down and he (or She) should not be bound, and blows to the face, head and genitals are to be avoided.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Rather the blows should be distributed all over the body, so that each limb will have its share, but most of them should be on the fleshy parts such as the buttocks and thighs, and the sensitive areas should be avoided, namely the head, face and genitals of men and women alike.
He said concerning the person being punished that he should not be made to lie down, or be bound, and we do not know of any difference of opinion concerning that.
Ibn Masood said: It is not prescribed in our religion to make the offender lie down or to tie him up or remove his clothing. The companions of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) flogged offenders but there is no report that any of them made the offender lie down or tied him up or removed his clothing.
His garment should not be removed, rather he is it acceptable if he is wearing one or two garments, but if he is wearing a thick coat, it should be removed, because if it is left on he will not feel the blows. Ahmad said: If winter garments are left on him, he will not feel the blows. Maalik said: His clothes should be removed [apart from that which covers the ‘awrah], because the command to flog implies that the blows should be directly to his body. We have the view of Ibn Mas’ood, and we do not know of any of the Sahaabah who differed with him. Allah did not command us to strip the offender, rather he commanded us to flog him, so whoever is flogged through his clothes has been flogged.
And he said: Once this is established, then the whip should be of moderate quality, not so new that it would cause injury and not so worn out that it hardly hurts him.
It was narrated that a man confessed to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) that he had committed zina, so the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) called for a whip and he was given a broken whip. He said, “Better than this.” So he was brought a brand new whip. He said, “Something between these two.” Narrated by Maalik from Zayd ibn Aslam in a mursal report; and it was narrated from Abu Hurayrah in a musnad report.
Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) that he said: Moderate blows with a moderate whip. Not so harsh as to kill and not so weak as to be no deterrent. He should not raise his arm completely, or keep it so low that it causes no pain. Ahmad said: His armpit should not show in any of the hudood punishments, i.e., he should not raise his arm so high, because the point is to discipline him, not kill him.
From al-Mughni, 1/141-142.
As for a married man or a married woman who has sex with someone they are not married too then the punishment is as follows:
If a married person has sex with some with whom they are not married to then the punishment is stoning to death.
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) stoned Maaiz, the Juhani woman, the Ghaamidi woman, and two Jews. All of that is proven in saheeh hadith. The scholars among the Sahaabah (may Allah be pleased with them) are also unanimously agreed on that.
It is narrated from Ibn Abbaas (may Allah be pleased with him) that ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “Allah sent Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) with the truth and revealed to him the Book, and one of the things that Allah revealed was the verse of stoning. We have read it and understood it. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) stoned (adulterers) and we stoned (them) after him, but I fear that there may come a time when some people say: ‘By Allah, we do not find the verse of stoning in the Book of Allah. So they will go astray by forsaking an obligation that Allah has revealed. According to the Book of Allah, stoning is deserved by the one who commits zina, if he is married, men and women alike, if proof is established or the woman becomes pregnant or they confess…”( Bukhaari and Muslim )
The few male and female companions who fell into adultery were very ashamed of what they had done. They would even go to the Prophet and confess their sin and wanted to be punished. Such as Maaiz and the Ghamadi woman.
Abu Hurayrah said: A man from (the tribe of Aslam) came to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) when he was in the mosque and called him. He said, “O Messenger of Allah, This man has committed zina,” meaning himself. [The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)] turned his face away from him. The man came to that side to which the Prophet had turned his face, and said, “O Messenger of Allah, this man has committed zina.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) turned his face to the other side, and the man came to that side, and said the same thing. When he had testified against himself four times, the Prophet called him and said, “Are you mad?” He said, “No.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Take him away and stone him to death.” And he was married. When the stones troubled him, he ran away, but we caught up with him at al-Harrah and stoned him to death (there).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4970
The Ghaamidi woman came and said, “O Messenger of Allah, I have committed adultery, so purify me.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) turned her away. The next day, she came back and asked, “Why are you turning me away? Perhaps you are turning me away as you turned Maa’iz away, but by Allah I am pregnant.” He said, “Then no (I will not carry out the punishment). Go away until you have given birth.” When she had given birth, she brought the child wrapped in a cloth and said, “Here, I have given birth to him.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Go away and breastfeed him until he is weaned.” When she had weaned him, she brought the child, holding a piece of bread in his hand, and said: “O Messenger of Allaah, here he is, I have weaned him and he is eating solid food now.” The child was given to one of the Muslims to take care of, then the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ordered that a chest-deep hole be dug for her, and that she be stoned. Khaalid ibn al-Waleed picked up a stone and threw it at her head. Blood spurted out onto his face and he swore at her. The Prophet of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) heard what he said, and told him: “Take it easy, O Khaalid! By Him in Whose hand is my soul, she has repented in such a way that if the tax-gatherer had done so, he would have been forgiven.” (Reported by Muslim)..

According to one report, ‘Umar said: “O Messenger of Allah, you had her stoned and now you will pray for her!” He said: “She has repented in such a way that if it were to be shared out among seventy people of Madeenah, it would be sufficient for them. Can you find anyone better than one who gives up her soul for the sake of Allah?” (Reported by ‘Abd al-Razzaaq in al-Musannaf, 7/325).
If the adulterer or adulteress is below the age of puberty, then there is no punishment to be carried out, according to all the scholars.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
With regard to puberty and sound mind, the scholars are agreed that both are conditions of punishment being obligatory.
Al-Mughni, 8/134.
The evidence for that is the words of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): “The Pen has been lifted from three, from the sleeper until he awakes, from the minor until he grows up, and from the insane until he regains his reason.” (Narrated by al-Nasaa’i, 3432; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Nasaa’i, 3210).
Punishment for sexual relationships can not be carried out by parents, siblings etc. They have to go through an Islamic justice system.
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): Allah has decreed for every son of Adam his share of zinaa, and there is no way to escape from it. The zinaa of the eye is a glance, the zinaa of the tongue is speaking, and the zinaa of the mind is wishing and hoping; then the private part either acts upon this or it does not. (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 11/26; Muslim, 4/2046).
Abd-Allah ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Avoid these sins that Allah has forbidden, but whoever does any of them, let him conceal himself with the concealment of Allah and repent to Allah, for whoever tells us of what he has done, we will carry out (the punishment prescribed in) the Book of Allah on him.” (It was also narrated by al-Haakim in al-Mustadrak ‘ala al-Saheehayn (4/425) and by al-Bayhaqi (8/330); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 149. )
So brothers and Sisters must avoid things which could lead them to having sex such as watching bad movies, things that cause their urges to increase, mixing with the opposite sex, practise in lowering their gaze and getting married early so you can fulfil your sexual need in the halal way and your needs for companionship.
Parents must help their children get married and be in an Islamic environment.
However, do not marry anyone just because you are having a hard time trying to avoid sex.
You need to marry someone who is good in their practise of Islam, they have good character and their looks are pleasing to you, and you can tolerate their flaws and they yours.
If you have fallen into having sex before marriage then you should sincerely repent to Allah by asking Allah for forgiveness and having that sincerer intention of never having sex with a person with whom you are not married to.
Some Muslims especially sisters, think they are doomed because they had sex before marriage and lost their virginity. The devil whispers thinks such as, your virginity is gone so continue having haram sex or the devil will whisper saying you are not good enough to marry a Muslim man so go date a non Muslim and hope he converts.
Many of Muslims born in Muslim families had a goal to remain virgins before we got married.
If a person falls into haram sex and has lost their virginity they should repent sincerely and have a new goal. That being never again have haram sex again.
Ibn Masood (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The one who repents from sin is like one who did not sin.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah
Sexual intercourse is not the only type of Zina but it is the type of zina that has the strong punishments prescribed for it.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “the eyes fornicate, the hands fornicate, the legs commit fornication, and the private parts commit fornication”. (It is reported by Ahmad and it is in sahih Al Jahni 4150.)
The punishments are same for men and women who engage in this.
Sex in itself is not a bad thing in Islam when it is done in the Islamic way.
That is sex must be between husband and wife.
In some Muslims cultures the couples put limitations on sex with their spouse which are not in Islam. Such as a wife saying they can only have sex during the night or with the lights turned off. Or the husband thinking sex is only for the husbands urges and the wife must not ask the husband for sex when she has urges for it. This is not from Islam.
Abu Dharr (may Allah be pleased with him) said the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “…the intimacy of one of you (with his wife) is a charity.” They said: O Messenger of Allah, if one of us fulfils his desire, will he be rewarded for that? He said: “Do you not see that if he did it in a haram manner, there would be a burden of sin on him for that? Similarly, if he does it in a halal manner, he will be rewarded for it.” (Muslim narrated (1006)
Abandoning a Muslim brother for more than three days
Abandoning a Muslim brother for more than three days with no legitimate reason Is Haram
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “It is not permitted for a Muslim to forsake his brother for more than three (days); whoever does this and dies, he will enter Hell.” (Reported by Abu Dawud, 5/215; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7635).
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever forsakes his bother for a year, it is as if he has shed his blood.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari in al-Adab al-Mufrad, hadeeth no. 406; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 6557).
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The deeds of the people are shown to Allah twice a week, on Mondays and Thursdays; He forgives all His believing slaves, except for the one between whom and his brother is enmity. He says, ‘Leave these two until they reconcile.’”
(Reported by Muslim, 4/1988).
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “It is not permissible for a man to forsake his brother for more than three nights, each turning away if they meet. The better of the two is the one who is the first to greet the other with salaam.”
(Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath al-Baari, 10/492).
Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Allah will not increase a person who forgives others except in honour.” Narrated by Muslim, 2588.
shaytaan likes to cause division among Muslims.
To say all divisions are over trivial matters would be naïve.
Some actually are over small issues. Some are over misunderstandings.
Some are divisions caused by other humans beings,
Some maybe non Muslims and others may be Munafic (a non Muslim who claims to be a Muslim) and even by sometimes by Muslims who are obviously are not behaving according to Islam.
Nationalism, race, family relations, wealth, status are some of the things that are exploited by our enemies to cause us to abandon each other.
Some peoples abandon a whole Muslim community because they feel the people of that community do not like them. Especially in the case of New Muslims. Even though that may not be the case..
Sometimes people do not understand a different language or a different culture and feel this group of people are rude to me when in reality the case may be different.
For instance, the Asian Muslim workers in the gulf countries would say these Arabs look down on us. The call the European (non Muslims of Europe) Guests but call us Rafeeq. They didn’t speak Arabic so didn’t realize Rafeeq meant friend. Which meant you were not just a guest but higher than a guest because you are a fellow Muslim.
Some issues are are not so trivial that it leads to a Muslim abandoning another Muslim is mockery. It starts with with banter then into mockery. In fact the mockery right from the start is sometimes disguised as banter. This is a huge issue amongst Muslims and non Muslims of the Indian subcontinent. Where the mockery doesn’t just lead to abandonment but often leads to eventual fights.
We often have bad days were we are not in a good state of mind and to each other hurtful words which can lead to abandoning our fellow Muslim for months, years and even lifetime. Those who fear Allah and know these hadith will eventually start talking to each even if doing so is extremely difficult.
Sometimes the abandonment occurs between those who are very close friends. One friend out of anger says something hurtful and the other person gets so hurt that he never wants to speak to you again. Even when at times he might have said something hurtful. If the friend knows these hadith and cares about his Muslim friend he will try hard to get the other friend to speak to him at least in a way were his friend is no longer doing this sin of abandonment.
Finally we get to people who are nasty. A lot of the time they are your own relatives.
We have to realize for at least the last century we have Muslim who do not have the kind of passion for Islam that they should have. 70 to 80 percent do not even fulfill even the secound pillar of Islam which is the 5 times daily Fard prayers. People mistake conservatism for religiosity. The two are not always the same. For instance if we look back to villages of certain Muslim countries in lets say the 1950’s, They were very conservative. No Zina, No dating, no alcohol, drugs or gambling. All females covered their heads.Wife had to obey her husband, Children had to obey their parents. When growing up we had that sort of culture at home even in the west. Our parents biggest fears were us getting a girlfriend and failing our exams or not having other material things. We were never told to pray. You were a good son if you married the girl your relatives expected you married even if you were not right for each other Islamically and you worked hard at a job and you were a great son if had a degree especially a medical degree even if you missed all your prayers except when it came to someones funeral prayer as you are not going in heart for the prayer but to show your face.
You may not even find 20 percent of them doing their 5 daily prayers. Many even their Shahadah may not have been intact because they may be doing or believing in things that are shirk.
Also they were selective in their conservatism. Islam for them was parts which the father/husband liked. Those parts which fathers and husbands how to behave towards their wives and children that was not even taught. This pick and choose culture turned many away from Islam and towards the liberal culture of the west especially in the case of the sisters.
Only in the 1990s Muslims students in western Universities starting to look into what written in Quran and hadith. Then speak with their fellow students and friends and it increased the percentage of Muslims who were passionate about following Islam.
However, we still have majority who do not pray 5 times a day. We only say have 30 percent who pray 5 times a day. A few who pray do not have that passion for Islam to not get rid of their bad character. They had certain bad habits before they started to pray and don’t want to leave them.
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that a man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): “Advise me.” He said: “Do not get angry.” He repeated his question several times and he said: “Do not get angry.” Narrated by al-Bukhari, 5765.
In the case of this man his temper was a major problem for him.
Some people have a bad habit of mocking others, for arrogance because of status or wealth of their family or their good academic abilities or good jobs, good looks, physical strength and they will put others down. This is mostly problem with those who are not new to Islam but are from Muslim families who are not practicing or newly practicing.
We have many who do not fear Allah in most things so their behaviour with fellow Muslims can be very bad. These can be from a persons own family members (siblings etc) or relatives.
So in such cases a person has to formulate a way in which you minimize their ability to cause you problems.
Often when a person resumes talking to such relatives due to fear of Allah, we forget whom we are talking to and speak casually just like we speak to our nice relatives or nice friends. This makes them think they can be nasty again. So if you go to their house keep everything formal and as minimum as possible.
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The believer should not stung from the same hole twice.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath, no. 6133).
Islam & The Concept of Friendship
Islam & The Concept of Friendship
Humans have always been social creatures and in need of friends and companions. Much of our lives is spent in interaction with others. For us Muslims who are living in a society where we are clearly a minority, the issue of choosing right companions is essential for preserving our Deen. Befriending righteous and virtuous Muslims is an essential means for staying on the Straight Path. Strong individuals, on the other hand, are the core of a strong community, something that Muslims should always strive for.
We all know that we were created for a specific purpose and that Allah the Most High has given us life in order to test us. None of us will deny that we are here for a relatively short period of time and that we shall meet Allah one Day.
Once we know our purpose and our goal, we should seek ways to achieve them so as to benefit our own selves. All of us believe that Allah has sent us a Messenger and revealed to us the Qur’an, the Best Speech.
In an authentic Hadith, the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “A person is likely to follow the faith of his friend, so look whom you befriend.”(1). The person most noble in character and dealings with fellow humans gave us a very clear message and advice in regard to friendship. We should choose the friend that is satisfied with our Deen and avoid the friend that is displeased with it. Whoever we see and are pleased with his Deen, we should befriend him and whoever we are displeased with his Deen and his manners, we ought to avoid him. There is no good in the companion who does not wish for us (from good) what he wishes for himself. There is also no good in the companion who wishes for us what he wishes for himself, if what he likes for his own soul is leading him towards destruction and Hellfire.
The bases for the actions of those who follow the evil ways are corrupt; their actions are built upon misguidance and deviation. Their deeds are worthless to them as Allah said: “And We will proceed to what they have done of deeds, so We shall render them to scattered floating dust.” [25:23]. Their actions, even if we regard them as righteous and noble are of no value to them, so how can they be of benefit to us? Friends are those who feel for their companions, in both happy and sad moments. If we share our feelings with the wrong- doers whose actions are worthless and based on corruption, then we are following the same ways and standards as they are. Affection which results from that friendship leads to love and closeness to other than the righteous believers, and this may even lead to avoiding those who are on the Straight Way. Mixing with followers of any way other than that of the Guidance also results in a change in one’s behaviour, morals and conduct. If we agree, follow and are pleased with such friends, then we inherit their habits, behaviours and even religion. Such a Muslim would find himself in a situation wherein he is willing to hide his Islam in front of those who despise it (those that he considers as friends) and to separate from the believers. When this situation occurs, a point is reached when there is a very slight difference between the Muslim and his wrong-doing companion. Such a companionship is the root of sickness of one’s heart and loss of one’s Deen.
Instead of making friends with the misguided ones we should befriend the righteous and treat the rest in a gracious and just manner. Staying on a sufficient distance is necessary, yet treating everybody in a noble and kind manner is required.
In another Hadith, Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him) said: “The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk, and the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows. So as for the seller of musk then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows then either he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him.”(2)
In his commentary of this Hadith, Imam an-Nawawi said that the Prophet (s.a.w.) compared a good companion to a seller of musk and spoke of the virtue of having companions who are good, who have noble manners, piety, knowledge and good culture. Such are those who grant us from their virtue. And he peace be upon him)forbade us to sit with those who do evil, commit a lot of sins and other bad deeds, as well as with innovators, backbiters, and so forth. Another scholar said: “keeping good company with the pious results in attainment of beneficial knowledge, noble manners and righteous actions, whereas keeping company with the wicked prevents all of that.” Many times a Muslim is encouraged by his friends to do evil and to forget his duties. The result is that Muslims themselves are often ashamed to leave them to perform prayer, their friends thus causing them to clearly deviate from the Right Path.
Allah the Exalted says in the Qur’an: “And (remember) the Day when the wrong-doer will bite his hands and say: Woe to me! Would that I had taken a path with the Messenger. Woe to me! If only I had not taken so- and-so as a friend! He has led me astray from this Reminder (the Qur’an) after it had come to me. And Satan is ever a deserter to man in the hour of need.” [25:27-29] So take heed before the inevitable Day comes and we are reckoned for our acts.
Allah, the All-Wise also says: “Friends on that Day will be enemies one to another, except al-Muttaqoon (i.e. those who have Taqwah).” [43:67]
Hafidh Ibn Katheer, commenting on this verse, relates a story on the authority of Ali Ibn Abi Talib and says that any friendship for other than Allah is turned into enmity, except what was in it for Allah the Mighty and Majestic: Two who are friends for Allah’s sake; one of them dies and is given good news that he will be granted al-Jannah, so he remembered his friend and he supplicated for him, saying: O Allah, my friend used to command me to obey You and to obey Your Prophet (s.a.w.) and used to command me to do good and to forbid me from doing evil. And he told me that I will meet You. O Allah, do not let him go astray after me, until you show him what you have just shown me, until You are satisfied with him, just like You are satisfied with me.” So he is told: “Had you known what is (written) for you friend, would you have laughed a lot and cried a little.” Then his friend dies and their souls are gathered, and both are asked to express their opinions about each other. So each one of them says to his friend: you were the best brother, the best companion and the best friend.” And when on of the two disbelieving friends dies, and he is given tidings of Hellfire, he remembered his friend and he said: O Allah, my friend used to order me to disobey You and disobey Your Prophet, and commanded me to do evil, and forbade me from doing good, and told me that I would not meet You. O Allah, do not guide him after me, until you show him what you have just shown me and until you are dissatisfied with him just like You are dissatisfied with me.” Then the other disbelieving friend dies, and their souls are gathered, and both are asked to give their opinions about each other. So each one says to his friend: you were the worst brother, the worst companion and the worst friend.”
That is the end of those who do not have Taqwah and those who befriend for a sake other than that of Allah the Exalted. Allah has surely spoken the truth and we all should grasp what He has informed us of. It is through the good company that Allah, the Most High, saves those who are astray and guides the wicked. The benefit of mixing with the righteous is immense, and it will, in sha’ Allah, be even more obvious to us in the Hereafter. One of the early Muslims said that it is from Allah’s blessings upon a youth when he turns to worship that he is given brother who is a follower of the Sunnah encouraging him upon it”.
Sealing a friendship for Allah’s sake will result in one’s receiving protection of Allah . And as Ibn Abbas said: “No one may taste true faith except by this (i.e. building relationships for Allah’s sake), even if his prayers and fasts are many. People have come to build their relationship around the concerns of the world, but it will not benefit them in any way.” A scholar has said: “To seal a friendship for Allah’s sake indicates the obligation of establishing relationships of love and trust for His sake; this is a friendship for the sake of Allah. It also indicates that simple affection is not enough here; indeed what is meant is a love based upon alliance. This entails assistance, honour, and respect. It means being with those whom you love both in word and deed.” Loyalty for the sake of Allah really means to love Allah and to come to the assistance of His Deen; to love those who are obedient to Him and to come to their help. Moreover, the Shahadah “La Ilaha Illa Allah” requires us to ally ourselves for the sake of Allah, and it requires us to ally ourselves to the Muslims wherever we find them.
In two other authentic narrations of the Prophet (peace be upon him) we were commanded to keep company with a believer only(3), and told that a person will be with those he loves(4). So if we love and associate ourselves with those who are misguided, we should fear for our fate. The wise person is the one who prepares himself for the Hereafter, not the one who neglects his faith and falls into the trap of Satan who tells him that he will be forgiven and that he can do whatever he wishes. If we truly believe that the best speech is the Speech of Allah and that he best guidance is the guidance of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) r, we should act in accordance with them, lest we build a proof against ourselves. Ali (r.a.a.) said: “Mix with the noble people, you become one of them; and keep away from evil people to protect yourself from their evils.” If we are truly concerned about our fate, we must come to this realization: those who take us away from remembering Allah, from obeying Him and His Prophet (s.a.w.), those who fail to remind us of our daily prayers and those who do not give us sincere advice in regard to our Deen; such are really our foes and not our friends.
On the other side, a believer is the mirror of his brother”(5), and if he sees any faults in the other believer, he draws his attention to it, helps him to give it up and helps him wipe away any evil that he may have. Ibn Hazm said: Anyone who criticizes you cares about your friendship. Anyone who makes light of your faults cares nothing about you.”
How can we expect sincere advice and exhortation in regard to our religion from those who are displeased with our Deen or are simply indifferent? Are they going to help us achieve the purpose of our life, or will they take us away from it? Will they desire for us Allah’s pleasure or is that Completely irrelevant to them and not their concern at all? Are they leading us to al-Jannah or to the Hellfire? These are the questions we have to ask ourselves, lest we wake up after we die.
“O you who believe! Take care of your own selves. If you follow the right guidance and enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong no hurt can come to you from those who are in error. The return of you all is to Allah, then He will inform you about (all) that which you used to do.” [5:105]
We ask Allah to make us of the righteous ones and give us companions that will take us away from His Wrath and lead us to His Pleasure and Paradise.
References: 1- Abu Dawood and at-Tirmidhee 2- al-Bukhary and Muslim. 3- Abu Dawood and at-Tirmidhee. 4- Al-Bukhary and Muslim. 5- Abu Dawood, Hassan Hadith.
By Br. Isa Al-Bosnee
Preventing The Girlfriend – Boyfriend Relationship
Zina (fornication) has become a common place occurrence within the Muslim Youth community, and the Muslim girls and boys have sadly fallen prey to the snares of Western society. You may wonder how can such a situation occur when most Muslim parents virtually put their children under ‘lock and key’. The answer is that although most parents are strict where their children are concerned, they do not take the time to talk and explain to them about the seriousness of Zina. Instead, they give a Fatwa of “no boyfriend” when their daughters reach puberty. Such an action is like ordering a two year old child not to touch the power point. What do you think the child will do?
The following article highlights ways in which we can teach our children to shun this corrupt act.
In Islam, there is no such thing as a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. You are either married or you are not.
This is what we have to ingrain into our children at the early stage. We should not wait for them to come to us when they are teenagers to ask about girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. At this late stage, even if we forbid them to have such a relationship, how certain are we that they will obey us if they are smitten by someone? Hence, it is important that we teach our children that the only time a girl or boy can have a relationship with a non-Mahatma (non-Mahatma is someone whom they can marry) is when they are married! Furthermore, if a girl or boy enters into a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship then he/she is entering into a pre-marital relationship.
At the teenage level, we should not be shy to teach them the severity of pre-marital relationship. We need to make them understand that that pre-marital relationships are like the extra-marital relationships, or what is commonly known as adultery or ‘an affair’. It ruins the community by corrupting the people. It unleashes base desires that, once allowed free-reign, will destroy families. We can quote to them the examples of illegitimate and abandoned children, broken homes, abortions, sexual diseases – the list goes on. We should also point out to them the punishment for sexual relationships outside of marriage: Ibn Masoud (r.a.a) related that Prophet Muhammad said, “The blood of a Muslim may not be legally spilt other than in one of three instances: the married person who commits adultery, a life for a life, and one who forsakes his religion and abandons the community.” [Bukhari and Muslim]. In other words, the married person who commits adultery is to be killed by stoning to death [Muslim].
But what about the unmarried person who has sexual relationships? Rest assured that this person will not go unpunished – he or she is to be caned or whipped one hundred times [Muslim]. Even in the Hereafter, the punishment is severe: the Prophet (peace be upon him) saw adulterers, men and women, in a baking oven in Hellfire [Bukhari].
At this stage your teenage child may say that girlfriend-boyfriend relationships need not go as far as the sexual act; that they can control themselves and simply enjoy each others company. To counter this, you say that it is a fact when a girl and a boy are alone together, their sexual desires awaken and before they know it, they will be doing things that are not permissible between unmarried people. The reason for this is because Shaytaan will be the third person with them [Ahmad] and he will whisper and tempt them with the forbidden. This is why Islam shuns all avenues leading to corruption of the mind, body and soul.
Something else we must teach them is to restrain their desires. We can do so by giving them examples of the rewards for doing so, such as the person who controls his lust will be among people who Allah bestows mercy upon: Abu Hurairah (r.a.a) narrated that Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said that among the seven persons whom Allah will shade in His Shade on the Day (of Judgement) when there is no shade except His Shade, is a man who is tempted by a beautiful woman and refuses to respond for fear of Allah. [Bukhari and Muslim].
Below are more points on how to help your child, at an early age, to be chaste so that when he/she is older, he/she can avoid getting into a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. First, you must talk and explain to them these things when they are young, then when they are older, you make sure that it is put into practice.
You must teach him or her to:
1. Not to freely mix with the opposite sex.
2. Not to look at the opposite sex. This is done by lowering or averting their eyes as Allah tells us: “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and to protect their private parts. That is purer for them. Verily Allah is All-Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and protect their private parts…” [24:30-31] Furthermore, Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said, “…do not let a second look follow the first. The first look is allowed to you but not the second.” [Ahmad, Abu Dawood, at-Tirmidhi]. What this means is that the first look is by accident. If this happens then do not take a second look. Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) also said that the eyes also commit adultery by looking at someone with lust. [Bukhari]
3. For girls, teach them not to make their voices seductive or sweet in front of non-Mahatma. This is done by lowering the voice and not flirting. As Allah tells the wives of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) “…do not be too pleasant of speech, lest one in whose heart there is a disease should feel desire for you…” [33:32]
4. Last but not least, teach them to wear appropriate clothing so as not to draw attention to themselves. That is, girls should wear Hijabs and loose clothing while boys should also wear loose clothing, not the tight jeans or pants with t-shirt tucked in. It is sad that, often, parents allow their children to wear the so called fashion clothing which, in most cases, do not meet the requirement of acceptable Islamic dress code. What is even sadder is to see Muslim mothers covering themselves properly walking with their uncovered teenage daughters and sons.
It is important that we start teaching our children the need to feel modesty, especially around the opposite sex. Regarding shyness, we should use the Prophet (s.a.w) as an example: Abu Said Al Khudri (r.a.a) reported that the Prophet (s.a.w) was more shy than a virgin in her own room. [Bukhari] If we instill this into them at an early age then, Insha’ Allah, whenever they are near the vicinity of the opposite sex, they will feel shy and, therefore, will not act inappropriately. It is also important that we keep the communication channels open with our children so that we can talk and explain to them things, and they can ask us questions, without any party feeling embarrassed. Then, when they are older, and with help from us, they will begin to understand why it is that there cannot be a thing called ‘the girlfriend-boyfriend relationship’.
In the next issue, Insha’ Allah, we will discuss the ways in which parents can deal with the situation when they have discovered that their daughter or son is in a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship.
How to deal with a Girlfriend and Boyfriend Relationship?
In the last part I talked about taking preventative measures to ensure that when your child is older, he or she will not be caught in a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. However, if your child is already a teenager or those methods did not work, and you are now facing this dilemma, there is still hope of rectifying it.
Most parents react with extremity upon discovering that their daughter is in a girlfriend-boyfriend situation: they lock her in her room and forbid her to see the boy again. What would be the reaction from the girl when she is faced with this? She would rebel. That is, she would do the opposite of what the parents say and, in extreme cases, run away from home. If this is not how parents want it to end, they must tread lightly. Do everything with a light touch because teenagers respond better to it. At any signs of heavy-handedness, teenagers rebel.
The first step in any bridge-building is to talk. Calmly talk to your daughter to understand why she is having a boyfriend.
What led to this?
There are many reasons why girls seek out boys. The first culprit that parents point the accusing finger at, is the girl’s raging hormones. This may be true in some girls but not all. There are girls who have raging hormones but who can control themselves, and then there are girls who do not have raging hormones but who still pursue the opposite sex.
Therefore, what are some other possible reasons for the girl’s behaviour?
Peer pressure is one. When all her friends and school mates have boyfriends, she feels compelled to follow suit. If she does not have a boyfriend of her own then she feels left out because she cannot fit in with their after school activities and cannot join in their conversations. What makes it worse is that everyone will see her as a “geek”.
Another reason is if she is undertaking a popularity contest. She competes with other girls in attaining as many boyfriends as she can to see who will be the popularity queen. These contests also occur because it is seen that only popular girls have boyfriends.
Boredom often drives a girl into the arms of a boy. She sees her life as monotonous and so searches for thrill and excitement with the boy.
Or perhaps her self-esteem is low, so she depends on him to make her feel desirable and wanted.
Yet another reason is that she needs to be loved. She seeks her parents love but cannot access it, therefore, she seeks it elsewhere. Similar to this is if she is seeking her parents attention. She defies them in seeking a boyfriend so that she can have their attention. Any attention to her is better than no attention. The difference between the need for love and the need for attention is that the former does it passively. If she cannot get it from her parents then she goes elsewhere. Whereas the latter demands it from her parents.
There could be other reasons or the reasons could be a combination of the above. However, whatever the reason or reasons may be, parents need to identify and understand it. This is easier than it sounds as parents have a tendency of triggering their daughters to clam up.
How to approach them
When parents talk, care needs to be taken so as not to become accusative (“You did this to…”) and judgmental (“You are so…”), otherwise it will end up like a police interrogation (“Why did you…?”). This only adds to their daughter’s defiance. Also, to keep her self-esteem intact, avoid using “should”, “don’t” and all other negative words.
Talking effectively also means to know when to listen. This includes not only hearing but understanding. To understand what has been said, parents need to clarify it (“Do you mean…?”), acknowledge it (“You feel… because…”) and empathize with it (“You sound really…”). When the teenager feels that her parents understand her, she will be encouraged to confide in them and explain why she does things and how she feels about it. And as I said earlier, by understanding, parents will get the full picture and will then know which appropriate action to take. Also, if parents want to be listened to by their children, they need to model good listening skills. Children tend to do as parents do rather than as parents say. So now is always a good time to start practicing these skills.
Insecurity
Looking closer at the above reasons, parents will see that the underlying factor is that the girl feels insecure about herself. Her self-esteem is low and so she relies on the boy to make her feel good about herself. The root of falling into the trap of peer-pressures, popularity contests, the need to be wanted and loved, and to have attention, is insecurity. If this is the case then give her the love and attention that she needs. Show and tell her that you love her despite her “bad” behaviours, and yet you will not tolerate them. Teach her how to feel good about herself and her religion. Build her self-esteem by acknowledging her good behaviours and achievements or her attempts to achieve (and not focusing on failures). Assign her challenging tasks and stimulating activities. This also applies to the bored daughter. Take her to teenage Islamic gatherings and camps. Encourage her to make new Muslim friends. As to the one with raging hormones who cannot control herself, ask her if she would like to marry (but do not force it upon her).
Certainly, remind her that it is the girlfriend-boyfriend relationship that cannot be approved and teach her (again) about Islam’s position with regards to this. Lastly, provide Muslim role models for her. Stories about those women who guard their chastity and piety are are rewarded for doing so. Maryam, mother of Prophet Eesa (a.s), is one great example.
Don’t forget about the boys
Having taken care of the daughter, I will now focus attention on the son. It is ironical that parents react as if there is a death in the family when their daughter engages in a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. But when it is the son who is in a similar or worst position, the same parents are complaisant. feel that the boy needs to have experience and enjoy himself first before he can settle down and marry. It is as if the daughter alone carries the honour of the family.
Honour needs to be distributed evenly among the family if it is to be kept intact. This means the father, mother, son and daughter must each guard their own honour. If the father or mother loses his or her honour then they are providing the role model for their children. And if the son loses his honour and goes unpunished then the daughter will see this as a hypocritical act and consequently rebels. For any mediating action to work on the daughter, parents must be consistent on their son as well. Look to the reasons why girls pursue boys then parents will see that those are the same ones that propel boys into the arms of girls.
By Sister Amatullah Islam
Feelings for the Opposite Sex
I am having a really big problem.I am extremely attracted to this guy at my school. I can’t stop thinking about him. When I can sometimes control my feelings, I end up seeing him at school, and then the feelings come back. I know in my heart that these kind of actions are haram in Islam, but despite my efforts, I can’t stop. I try to avoid him as much as possible. We hardly ever speak to each other, and if we do, it’s just an exchange of salam. I don’t know what to do, I want these feelings to stop. It’s like shaitan just wins every time despite my efforts. I was wondering if there was some kind of a Dua’a or a prayer or something to stop myself. It’s like the more I try to stop myself from committing this sin, the less I can keep control. This is the first time I have had such strong feelings for a guy, and it’s very scary because it’s not right. Please, help me.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Feeling that the situation is dangerous is the most important step towards dealing with it. This feeling is present in your case, praise be to Allaah. Man will always need to strive against himself and give up sin. This is the wisdom of Allaah, so that the sincere and serious believer will be distinguished from others.

Among the most important means of ridding yourself of this problem are:

1. Generating love for Allaah through the prescribed means, such as pondering His Signs and blessings. This will keep you from loving anyone else.

2. Striving to avoid meeting this young man, or sitting with him or looking at him.
3. Stopping yourself from thinking about him, by keeping yourself busy with thoughts of useful things, both spiritual and worldly.
4. If you can marry him – if he is righteous – or someone else, this is the natural solution to many of these problems.

With regard to making du’aa’, Allaah answers those who call upon Him and are sincere in their du’aa’. If you say any of the following du’aa’s:

Allaahumma tahhir qalbi (O Allaah, purify my heart);
Yaa Muqallib al-quloob, thabbit qalbi ‘ala taa’atika (O Controller of the hearts, make my heart steadfast in obedience to You);

Allaahumma iqsim li min khashiyatika ma tahoolu bihi bayni wa bayna ma’siyatika (O Allaah, give me a share of fear of You which will intervene between me and sin);
Allaahumma inni as’aluka al-hudaa wa’l-tuqaa wa’l-‘afaaf wa’l-ghinaa (O Allaah, I ask You for guidance, piety, chastity and independence);

Allaahumma Faatir al-samawaati wa’l-ard, ‘Aalim al-ghaybi wa’l-shahaadah, laa ilaaha ill anta, Rabba kulli shay’in wa Maleekahu, a’oodhu bika min sharri nafsi wa min sharr il-Shaytaan wa sharakihi, wa an aqtarif ‘ala nafsi soo’an aw ajurrahu ‘ala muslimin (O Allaah, Creator of the heavens and the earth, Knower of the unseen and the seen, There is no god except You, Lord and Sovereign of all things. I seek refuge with You from the evil of my own self and from the evil and traps of the Shaytaan, and from committing any sin against my own self or bringing evil upon any Muslim)
– all of these are good du’aa’s which were narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).
(See Tarteeb Ahaadeeth Saheeh al-Jaami’: Baab al ‘Ad’iyah al-Ma’thoorah).

This must be accompanied by sincerity and persistence in making du’aa’. And Allaah is the Guide to the Straight Path.
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
Can Muslims Date in Islam
Dating Is Haram in Islam even if dating is common place in Muslim communities in the west or the westernized communities in Muslim countries or any community.
Allah made Islam, not the people. It is strange that some Muslims will call themselves Muslim but want to make laws that are against Islam because of the culture they come from or live in, trying to deceive people into thinking they are not committing haram, for some it maybe for commercial reasons or due to being confused as to how to get married.
For the past few centuries the Muslim parents have destroyed the Islamic way of getting married.
Although dating as we shall see is haram in Islam and one who comes this haram is sinning. Making dating Halal or making anything halal into haram is an act of kufr and takes the person out of Islam.
Allah says :
“… Wed them with the permission of their own folk and give them their mahr (dowry) according to what is reasonable; they should be chaste, not adulterous, nor taking boyfriends…” [al-Nisa 4:25]
In his commentary on this ayah, Ibn Kathir (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
“Muhsanat [translated as “chaste”] means that they should be pure, not indulging in zina (unlawful sexual conduct), hence they are described as not being musafihat , which means promiscuous women who do not refuse anyone who wants to commit immoral acts with them.
Regarding the phrase wa la muttakhidhati akhdan (‘nor taking boyfriends’),
Ibn ‘Abbas said: ‘al-musafihat means those who are known to commit zina, meaning those who will not refuse anyone who wants to commit immoral acts with them.
Ibn ‘Abbas also said: ‘muttakhidhati akhdan means lovers.’ A similar interpretation was narrated from Abu Hurayrah, Mujahid, al-Sha’bi, al-Dahhak, ‘Ata al-Khurasani, Yahya ibn Abi Kathir, Muqatil ibn Hayyan and al-Saddi. They said: (it means) lovers.
Allah says :
“Made lawful to you this day are al-tayyibat [all kinds of halal (lawful) foods…]. The food of the People of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time, when you have given their due mahr (bridal money given by the husband to the wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e., taking them in legal wedlock), not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends. And whosoever disbelieves in the Oneness of Allah and in all the other articles of Faith, then fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be among the losers.” [al-Maidah 5:5]
Ibn Kathir (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
“Muhsineen ghayr musafiheen wa la muttakhidhi akhdan (‘desiring chastity (i.e., taking them in legal wedlock), not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends’ ). Just as Allah imposed the condition of chastity on women, meaning that they refrain from zina, so it is also imposed on men. The man must also be pure and chaste. So they should be ghayr musafiheen, meaning they should not be adulterers who do not refrain from sin and do not refuse any who come to them (for immoral purposes). Nor should they be muttakhidhi akhdan, meaning those who have girlfriends or female lovers with whom they have an exclusive relationship, as quoted above from Surat al-Nisa. (The one with many lovers or the one with just one lover) are both the same. For this reason Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (may Allah have mercy on him) said that it is not right to marry a promiscuous woman unless she has repented, or to arrange a marriage of such a woman to a chaste man, so long as she is still conducting herself in this manner. Similarly, he (Ahmad) says that it is not right for a promiscuous man to marry a chaste woman unless he repents and gives up his immoral conduct, because of this ayah… We will discuss this matter in further detail after quoting the ayah (interpretation of the meaning):
“Let no man guilty of fornication or adultery marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an unbeliever: nor let any but such a man or an unbeliever marry such a woman: to the believers such a thing is forbidden.” [al-Nur 24:3]
Abu Dawood (2051) narrated from ‘Amr ibn Shu’ayb, from his father, from his grandfather, that Marthad ibn Abi Marthad al-Ghanawi used to smuggle prisoners from Makkah. There was in Makkah a prostitute called ‘Anaaq and she had been his friend. He said: I came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and said: O Messenger of Allah, should I marry ‘Anaaq? He remained silent and did not answer me. Then the words “and the adulteress –fornicatress, none marries her except an adulterer — fornicater or a Mushrik” were revealed. He called me and recited them to me, and said: Do not marry her. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
‘Abd-Allah ibn Mughaffal reported that there was a woman who had been a prostitute during the days of ignorance (before Islam). A man passed by her, or she passed by him, and he touched her. She said: “Stop it! (Mah! A word connoting a rebuke or denunciation). Allah has done away with shirk and had brought Islam.” So he left her alone and went away, still looking at her, until he walked into a wall, hitting his face. He came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and told him what had happened. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “You are a man for whom Allah wishes good. When Allah, may He be blessed and exalted, wishes good for His slave, He hastens the punishment for his sin, so that it is dealt with before the Day of Resurrection.” (Reported by al-Hakim, 1/349, who said this hadith is sahih according to the conditions of Muslim, and al-Dhahabi agreed with him. See Sahih al-Jami’, 308).
Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Allah has decreed for every son of Adam his share of zina, which he will inevitably commit. The zina of the eyes is looking, the zina of the tongue is speaking, one may wish and desire, and the private parts confirm that or deny it.” (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 5889; Muslim, 2657)
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts).” [al-Nur 24:30-31]
An Arab poet summed how a small action evolves into fornication or adultery.
The poet said a look then a smile then a chat and then the comfort of the bed (sexual intercourse).
This often happens one person or both had no intention of having sex but they ended up having sex. Some sisters even ended up becoming pregnant. Then find out the boy they think they are in love is cheating or her or has left her and they end up killing the poor baby and after that even themselves.
So if someone has fallen into intercourse he or she should repent and not do it again. Often sister think their virginity has gone so they may as well carry on having sex. For some virginity was a goal and without their really being that goal to please Allah by not not having sex with anyone other than your husband. The virginity has gone but the goal to please Allah has not gone. You can still turn to Allah in sincere repentance and Allah loves that His slaves come to Him sincerely to ask for forgiveness.
Sometimes a person may got himself or her self in a situation were they kissed the opposite sex and if they are god fearing they feel they are doomed forever. One should have that guilt inside of them as it will help them to possibly not do it again. But they should try to remove that sin prayering. Erase a bad deed with a good deed.
Narrated Ibn Mas`ud:
A man kissed a woman (unlawfully) and then went to the Prophet (ﷺ) and informed him. Allah revealed: And offer prayers perfectly At the two ends of the day And in some hours of the night (i.e. the five compulsory prayers). Verily! good deeds remove (annul) the evil deeds (small sins) (11.114). The man asked Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ), “Is it for me?” He said, “It is for all my followers.”(iSahih al-Bukhari 526 Book 9, Hadith 5)
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The five daily prayers, and from one Jumuah to the next, and from one Ramadan to the next, expiates for the sins that come in between, so long as you avoid major sins.” (Narrated by Muslim, 1/209)
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Below is an Article by Sister Fatima Asmal on the Mindless Dating Game.
The Mindless Dating Game – Happiness or Heartbreak
By Sister Fatima Asmal
Many unmarried people these days search for “love” in a series of premarital relationships, which far from yielding happiness, lead to nothing but spiritual degeneration, loss of self-respect, heartache and misery.
When the average girl reaches the age of ten or eleven, she – sometimes with the knowledge of her parents, sometimes without their knowledge – becomes engrossed in and obsessed with the teen romance novel: a blonde, blue-eyed girl, with a perfect size 10 figure, falls in love with the football hero of the school, a few complications on the way (nothing major, of course), but things end happily after.
In these novels, girl and boy might hold hands, or there might even be a kiss, thrown in somewhere along the line.
By the time the impressionable reader of these novels reaches her late teens, she is sick of these story lines…and is searching for more.
And is most cases,”more” is usually available right there in her home, tucked away at the bottom of her mother’s cupboard, in the form of adult romance novels.
The holding hands, and the kissing has now made way for much more, as details of pre-marital passion, and the fulfillmenta thereof are graphically spelt out on these pages.
The reader is told what the “perfect body” is supposed to look like, the notion that sexual intercourse before marriage is sweet and romantic seeps through these pages…the feelings of degradation, and the many possible consequences thereof are conveniently left out.
A fairy tale is a fairy tale, we tell ourselves, a book is a book…they have no implications on real life.
Surely our daughters understand and accept this…
But we are deluding ourselves. These same “harmless ” fairytales and books, have a detrimental effect on the thinking, lifestyles and attitudes of our children.
The first “crush” /infatuation our daughters experience in relation to members of the opposite sex, is often linked to false perceptions about “dating”,perceptions to which a wide variety of factors contribute.
And one of the main factors painting a sugar and candy image of pre-marital romances, are these shallow bits of reading material that our daughters are exposed to.
It is no strange co-incidence that girls grow up believing that a boyfriend is the key to happiness…after all they have barely started walking, when the stories of the poor ill-treated Cinderella, saved only by a dashing prince, and the beautiful Snow White woken up by a prince, and the doomed Rapunzel, saved from the tower by…who else – a dashing hero, are told to them.
And when they read romance novels, this theory is further reinforced – for, in the classic teen romance novel, the girl without a boyfriend, or “sweet sixteen and never been kissed” is the poor, laughing stock, who doesn’t have a date to the “prom”.
And on the pages of a typical adult romance novel, the heroine is always a successful, beautiful career woman, but, she feels, that “something” is lacking in her life…and that “something” is naturally a man.
It is improbable that the average teenager, would just read these books, and that there would be no impact on her mind.
It is usually exactly the opposite: she wishes she was the person on the pages of the book, and transfers her fantasies to her real life.
She might see someone at school, who is popular, and good-looking [i.e. the football hero], and so begins her first painful crush, which is accompanied of course, by sending him anonymous ‘Valentine’s Day’ cards, or calling him and playing songs over the phone.
Shaitaan has set his trap, and the temptation to sin heightens, and each time the temptation is given in to, the girl becomes more daring.
By the time the boy ‘asks her out,’ her nafs has gotten the better of her, and her head filled with the notions of how sweet holding hands before that first kiss must be, she cannot resist.
And so begins a ‘relationship.’
But this has all the ingredients that a classic romance novel does not….for those candy-coated pages do not tell you about the heartbreak, the tears, the mood swings and the countless negative aspects that are the central to these relationships
And they do not tell you about the degradation and the loss of self-respect, with which people, especially women, emerge, after these relationships.
For there is no peace, no tranquility in such relationships. The daily cycle, the moods, everything about the individual is affected.
There is a certain sort of darkness, a restlessness which fills the heart, and this restlessness affects the rest of the family too.
For it is now that all the arguments with the parents start:’Why can’t I go out tonight? All my friends are going?’
And there are the mood swings, the fluctuating eating habits…if the phone doesn’t ring, then it’s a case of ‘I don’t feel like eating.’
And then there is dishonesty…unable to tell her parents where she really wants to go, she makes the excuse of having to go to the library to study for tomorrow’s test.
The ending of each relationship is most often marked by a long periods of torture, in which the girl has to ‘get over’ the boy.
Everyday life becomes a misery…her marks drop, daily moods start to depend on the current state of her relationship with the boy and many girls, totally misled by Shaitaan, even make dua for a ‘reconciliation’.
During this period the girl is ravaged by guilt, because deep down in her heart, she is aware that what she has done is haraam, and she also feels guilty about lying to her parents.
If there was a physical aspect to her relationship, then these feelings of guilt are deeply accentuated and coupled with a total loss of self-respect.
In the worst possible scenario, which is frequently happening, the girl, in an effort to improve her ‘self image’, may turn to various other ways…smoking, clubbing, drinking and drugs…or she may embark on a series of flings just to make herself feel ‘special’ again.
In short the ‘relationships’ so sweetly portrayed in romance novels, which speak only of chocolates, flowers and happiness, end right there: on the pages of the novel.
In real life, such relationships lead to nothing but unhappiness and heartache.
For how can there be any real happiness in a ‘love’ inspired by Shaitaan?
This type of ‘love’ far from being pure and sacred falls into the category of fornication.
And regarding fornication, Allah Ta’ala says in the Holy Qur’aan:
” The woman and the man guilty of illegal sexual intercourse, flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not pity withhold you in their case, in a punishment prescribed by Allah, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day. And let a party of the believers witness their punishment”.
[Surah An-Nur: 2]
How can there be any long term happiness in a sin for which the punishment prescribed is so severe?
But while keeping in mind the above injunction, we should also not despair of the Mercy of Allah Ta’ala…for we cannot even comprehend the vastness of this Mercy.
We need to realize and to tell ourselves that there is only temporary satisfaction of the nafs in a pre-marital relationship.
And we need to terminate any such relationship which we might be involved in, and sincerely make taubah to Allah.
As difficult as it might be to end such relationships, once we realize and acknowledge to ourselves that the novels to which we are exposed to from such an early age are totally based on a kuffaar way of life, which appears to be very appealing from the outside, but which bears no contentment, no real happiness, it will in sha Allah, be easy to do so.
In addition to painting a rosy picture of dating, these books also create a very wrong concept of what the ideal partner should be like.
It is obvious that since they are kuffaar publications, there is no stress on piety, good akhlaaq, honesty and all the other qualities people should be searching for in a potential marriage partner.
Instead these books promote superficial thinking, with all their emphasis on ‘good looks’,’size 10 figures’,’star football players’,’smart cars’, etc.
Parents should closely monitor the reading material which their children bring home and should teach their children about the beauty of nikaah.
We should realize, that while it is natural to be embarrassed to discuss such aspects of Islam with them, it is infinitely better for them, that we impart the correct knowledge of an Islamic way of life to them, than allow them to acquire the totally wrong concept of ‘love’; from books, television, movies, and their friends and environment.
It should be explained to each teenager that the pre-marital relationships, the engagements, etc to which we attach such a great deal of importance in this world have nothing but a negative bearing on our lives in the aakhirah.
It should be time and time again instilled into their minds that pre-marital relationships are a sin…nikaah is an ibaadah.
Allah Ta’ala has Created men and women with natural desires, and He has created nikaah as an institution in which these desires maybe fulfilled.
A nikaah in which both, husband and wife are striving to fulfill their obligations to Allah Ta’ala, such a nikaah will be filled with the mutual respect, love and inevitably, the contentment, which we hopelessly search for in pre-marital relationships.
Within the sacred context of a nikaah, in which both parties are obedient to Allah Ta’ala, and adhere to His Commandments, there can be no room for the loss of respect, feelings of degradation, etc. which goes hand-in-hand with ‘going out’ with or ‘dating’ someone.
We should always bear in mind that should we die in the company of a ‘boyfriend’ or a ‘girlfriend’ or even a ‘fiance’ we will be leaving this world, having spent our last few moments of this life in the company of a non-Mahram.

Category: Islamic Lifestyle

(1) Covering the ‘Aurah

(2) Covering the Pubic Region & the Thigh

(2b) Wearing Two Garments in Salat

2 c Praying without head covering

3 A Man’s dress must not Resemble a Woman’s Dress

(4) Resembling Clothing of the Kuffaar

(5) Clothing Worn to Show One’s Status or to Show-Off

6 Colour

Can women wear coloured clothes?

(7) Wearing Clothes Below the Ankles (Al-Isbaal)

8 Silk

When can men wear silk?

9 Underwear

10 Beard

11 Hair

12 Plucking eyebrows is haram

13 wearing wigs is haram.

14 Tattoos

15 Rings

What Is Zakat Al fitr

Reasons for zakat al-fitr and what Islam says about it

Rulings on zakaat al-fitr

When it has to be given

Who is obliged to pay it?

Summery

Islam & The Concept of Friendship

How to deal with a Girlfriend and Boyfriend Relationship?

The Mindless Dating Game – Happiness or HeartbreakBy Sister Fatima Asmal

The Mindless Dating Game – Happiness or Heartbreak
By Sister Fatima Asmal