Abandoning a Muslim brother for more than three days with no legitimate reason Is Haram

Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “It is not permitted for a Muslim to forsake his brother for more than three (days); whoever does this and dies, he will enter Hell.” (Reported by Abu Dawud, 5/215; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7635).

Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever forsakes his bother for a year, it is as if he has shed his blood.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari in al-Adab al-Mufrad, hadeeth no. 406; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 6557).

Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The deeds of the people are shown to Allah twice a week, on Mondays and Thursdays; He forgives all His believing slaves, except for the one between whom and his brother is enmity. He says, ‘Leave these two until they reconcile.’”
(Reported by Muslim, 4/1988).

Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “It is not permissible for a man to forsake his brother for more than three nights, each turning away if they meet. The better of the two is the one who is the first to greet the other with salaam.”
(Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath al-Baari, 10/492).

Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Allah will not increase a person who forgives others except in honour.” Narrated by Muslim, 2588.

shaytaan likes to cause division among Muslims.

To say all divisions are over trivial matters would be naïve.

Some actually are over small issues. Some are over misunderstandings.

Some are divisions caused by other humans beings,

Some maybe non Muslims and others may be Munafic (a non Muslim who claims to be a Muslim) and even by sometimes by Muslims who are obviously are not behaving according to Islam.

Nationalism, race, family relations, wealth, status are some of the things that are exploited by our enemies to cause us to abandon each other.

Some peoples abandon a whole Muslim community because they feel the people of that community do not like them. Especially in the case of New Muslims. Even though that may not be the case..

Sometimes people do not understand a different language or a different culture and feel this group of people are rude to me when in reality the case may be different.

For instance, the Asian Muslim workers in the gulf countries would say these Arabs look down on us. The call the European (non Muslims of Europe) Guests but call us Rafeeq. They didn’t speak Arabic so didn’t realize Rafeeq meant friend. Which meant you were not just a guest but higher than a guest because you are a fellow Muslim.

Some issues are are not so trivial that it leads to a Muslim abandoning another Muslim is mockery. It starts with with banter then into mockery. In fact the mockery right from the start is sometimes disguised as banter. This is a huge issue amongst Muslims and non Muslims of the Indian subcontinent. Where the mockery doesn’t just lead to abandonment but often leads to eventual fights.

We often have bad days were we are not in a good state of mind and to each other hurtful words which can lead to abandoning our fellow Muslim for months, years and even lifetime. Those who fear Allah and know these hadith will eventually start talking to each even if doing so is extremely difficult.

Sometimes the abandonment occurs between those who are very close friends. One friend out of anger says something hurtful and the other person gets so hurt that he never wants to speak to you again. Even when at times he might have said something hurtful. If the friend knows these hadith and cares about his Muslim friend he will try hard to get the other friend to speak to him at least in a way were his friend is no longer doing this sin of abandonment.

Finally we get to people who are nasty. A lot of the time they are your own relatives.

We have to realize for at least the last century we have Muslim who do not have the kind of passion for Islam that they should have. 70 to 80 percent do not even fulfill even the secound pillar of Islam which is the 5 times daily Fard prayers. People mistake conservatism for religiosity. The two are not always the same. For instance if we look back to villages of certain Muslim countries in lets say the 1950’s, They were very conservative. No Zina, No dating, no alcohol, drugs or gambling. All females covered their heads.Wife had to obey her husband, Children had to obey their parents. When growing up we had that sort of culture at home even in the west. Our parents biggest fears were us getting a girlfriend and failing our exams or not having other material things. We were never told to pray. You were a good son if you married the girl your relatives expected you married even if you were not right for each other Islamically and you worked hard at a job and you were a great son if had a degree especially a medical degree even if you missed all your prayers except when it came to someones funeral prayer as you are not going in heart for the prayer but to show your face.

You may not even find 20 percent of them doing their 5 daily prayers. Many even their Shahadah may not have been intact because they may be doing or believing in things that are shirk.

Also they were selective in their conservatism. Islam for them was parts which the father/husband liked. Those parts which fathers and husbands how to behave towards their wives and children that was not even taught. This pick and choose culture turned many away from Islam and towards the liberal culture of the west especially in the case of the sisters.

Only in the 1990s Muslims students in western Universities starting to look into what written in Quran and hadith. Then speak with their fellow students and friends and it increased the percentage of Muslims who were passionate about following Islam.

However, we still have majority who do not pray 5 times a day. We only say have 30 percent who pray 5 times a day. A few who pray do not have that passion for Islam to not get rid of their bad character. They had certain bad habits before they started to pray and don’t want to leave them.

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that a man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): “Advise me.” He said: “Do not get angry.” He repeated his question several times and he said: “Do not get angry.” Narrated by al-Bukhari, 5765.

In the case of this man his temper was a major problem for him.

Some people have a bad habit of mocking others, for arrogance because of status or wealth of their family or their good academic abilities or good jobs, good looks, physical strength and they will put others down. This is mostly problem with those who are not new to Islam but are from Muslim families who are not practicing or newly practicing.

We have many who do not fear Allah in most things so their behaviour with fellow Muslims can be very bad. These can be from a persons own family members (siblings etc) or relatives.

So in such cases a person has to formulate a way in which you minimize their ability to cause you problems.

Often when a person resumes talking to such relatives due to fear of Allah, we forget whom we are talking to and speak casually just like we speak to our nice relatives or nice friends. This makes them think they can be nasty again. So if you go to their house keep everything formal and as minimum as possible.

Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The believer should not stung from the same hole twice.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath, no. 6133).