Bismillah hir-Rahma nir- Raheem
My Journey from Christianity to Islam
My story in short is that I am a girl who was born to a Christian family and therefore followed Christianity until January 15th 2006 when I converted to Islam, most thankful to God.
I grew up in a non-too-religiously-committed Christian family, my father was an atheist, though he never tried to influence us nor he ever interfered in our choices, and my mother was a Christian by birth and tradition, and she brought us up this way.
We went to Nuns Schools therefore learning Christian religion was a must, and we had to attend the mass on Sunday with the rest of the parish in addition to a Wednesday special mass for the students. I never liked the rituals of the mass nor did I feel connected with God through those rituals, yet I used to practice it with interest because of my conviction that prayer is the only connection with God, the only way to express my appreciation and do my supplications, but deep inside me never felt heart warmed with the process maybe because of all the festive appearance in the church and its visitors, also the method of the prayer through the priest did not appeal to me, why should I need a third party to connect me to God, let alone when that third party is as human as I was? Ever since I was a child we had a Muslim cleaning lady who used to come help my mother in the house, and she used to pray timely, I used to watch her with fascination, I used to notice her shining with faith, even though she was praying alone and not in a worship house, I once asked her "do u feel God close to u when you pray?" she said "yes, when u pray u feel His spirit next to you", as simple as her reply was but it touched the core of my heart, ever since I used to envy the Muslims with every Athan thinking they are now praying, thus feeling the spirit of God close to them.
I grew up within Christianity and stayed like that, sort of accepting it as is until my early thirties, when I joined the communist party and then I
stepped away from religion and my thinking of God became closer to an atheist, but I never could deny His existence as a whole, and stayed like
that for few years until I quit the party, but my relation with God stayed abrupt, and I only went to church for Christmas and Easter and to participate in any social occasion.
With time I started feeling that it is not enough for to only believe in God, and was tired of that abrupt relation with Him, so I concluded that to strengthen the tie with him I have to strengthen my relation with my religion, and the agony started again, every time I came closer to the religion and its teachings I faced the same question torturing me
Who is God?
Is He the father?
Is He the son?
Or is He the Holy Spirit?
God in one on all those three, that was the same answer I always got, but never was convincing to me, how could God have a son? And how could He say it is Him that son? Why did He need a son to prove that he's a God?
Why do I as a Christian only need to connect with God through Jesus, if he were a prophet, then he was as human as we are, though with a higher rank of sanity, but I don't need him to connect me with God, at the end he was God's messenger who delivered God's message, as did other prophets, and if he was God, how could I worship two Gods?
I started reading more in my desperate tries to come closer to God through this religion, to which I was born, started to worry, I can't accept most of
its teachings, specially the basics, started to feel that the Holy Book is not the word of God as He sent it, I found in the Holy Book many signs that
*Jesus was only a prophet sent with a message to finish what came before him,* and actually most of the signs and from the bible gave that
Matthews 18:11 and the son of man is come to save that which is lost
John, 12:19 For I have not spoken of myself*:* but the *f*ather which sentme,
Matthews 5"17 Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them
Mark 10:18 Jesus said to him: why callest thou me good? There is no man good but one, which is God
Mark 9:37 Whosoever receive any such a child in my name, receiveth me. And whosoever receiveth me, receiveth not me, but him that sent me.
John 17:3 This is life eternal, that they might know thee that only very God, and whom thou hast sent Jesus Christ.
And so many other examples from the bible how Jesus never claimed he was God but he always affirmed he was the son of Human.
So where did the idea of Trinity come from, and that Christ is God, the son of God ?!!?!?!
A dilemma that bothered my brains for years.
Another important issue puzzled my brains; why did God have to come down to earth in a form of a human? Why did he have to kill "his son" to take away our sins? Why did He have to bribe us to love him? Aren't we bound for him for our mere existence and creation? What would be the purpose of our life if we live with no sins? And where is the divine justice in having one person take the burden of others sins and mistakes?
And if Christ died while on the cross, then should this mean that God died??? How could this be?
The only answer I got from those who wanted to prove Christ's divinity that he did miracles, but other prophets did too!!!
Him rising from the dead after three days is something only gods can do, but wasn't Elias carried to heaven on a carriage of light, as per the old
I was never convinced with the answers
*The only answer that I could believe and be convinced with was coming from my inside which was that the idea of salvation and Trinity were added to Christianity upon the outset of spreading Christianity from Constantinople, where the bibles were published with this current shape, for the purpose of convincing people easily of following that new religion, where the idea of one God was not common, so making them three would be easier for people to grasp and that new religion will take away all their sins *
Another important point, was the bible the word of God? And due to having so many different in identical versions of the bible raised my doubts about the authenticity of the bible as the word of God and started researching the issue until I heard a debate by Late sheikh Ahmad Deedat with an American priest under the title of "is the Bible the World of God" and all the points he raised were so sensible to me and made so much sense, and I noticed through Sheikh Deedat's works how so many signs from the Old testament that indicate the mention of Prophet Mohammad which are totally ignored, and my trip to Islam began.
And what helped me explore it more, that at the same time of my quest the attack on Islam in the international arena has got stronger, and I've hear
so many interpretations from within some Muslim factions which came to me contradicting to what I know of Islam, having lived all my life in with a
Muslim society, so started digging out for the truth and base for such interpretations, only to find out the TRUTH of Islam which I found a religion that can absorb everyone, and calls for the worship of One and Only God and calls for peace and forgiveness and addressed every single aspect of
life, which made it a more realistic religion for me as opposed to Christianity which I found too spiritual for my taste, let alone the other essential differences that I could not accept nor comprehend
I found Islam a religion that calls for people to appreciate God for what He is and for what they are without the need for any mediators with clear cut
instructions that covered the lives of all Muslims.
Instinctively I felt Islam settle in my heart without any resistance, and talked to my mind with ease, I found my self fitting in it as if I was born to be a Muslim, the prayer satisfied me and my need to get closer to God, and I fasted last Ramadan and read the whole Quran, I found myself spiritually involved in that religion accepting it from all angles, I felt so much inner peace in it, and after Ramadan there came Christmas followed by Adha and it was a good test for my conviction, at Christmas I didn't feel any kind of spiritual attachment nor connection, while on Adha I found myself fasting Arafah day, when I decided that Islam is the Religion for me, and I pronounced the Shahadatin on the 15 th of January, Wal Hamdulellah