Sex before marriage is not allowed in Islam. It is haram (forbidden, unlawful ).
If a single person has sex it is called fornication and if a married person has sex with a person with whom they are not married to then the married person is committing Adultery.
In Arabic we call both fornication and Adultery zinaa.
Zinaa, in Arabic, means immorality, This is a major sin in Islam.
Allah says
“And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Fahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin, and an evil way that leads one to Hell unless Allah forgives him).”
(Quran 17:32)
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “There are three to whom Allah will not speak on the Day of Resurrection, nor praise, nor look at; theirs will be a painful torment: an old man who commits zinaa, a king who lies, and a poor man who is arrogant.” (Reported by Muslim, 1/102-103).
Among the worst of incomes is the earnings of a prostitute which she takes before committing zinaa, and the immoral woman who earns her living by selling herself is deprived of having her prayers answered when the gates of heaven are opened at midnight. (The hadeeth is in Saheeh al-Jaami’ , 2971)
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “When an adulterer commits illegal sexual intercourse, then he is not a believer at the time he is doing it, and when a drinker of an alcoholic liquor drinks it, then he is not a believer at the time of drinking it, and when a thief steals, then he is not a believer at the time of stealing, and when a robber robs, and the people look at him, then he is not a believer at the time of doing robbery.” (al-Bukhari)
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “When a man commits zina, faith departs from him and hovers like a cloud over him, then when he stops that, faith returns to him.”
Narrated by Abu Dawood (4690), at-Tirmidhi (2625). Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) explained: If one of you were to be stabbed in the head with a piece of iron it would be better for him than if he were to touch a woman whom it is not permissible for him to touch. (Reported by al-Tabaraani; see also Saheeh al-Jaami, 5045).
It is narrated that Samurah ibn Jundub said: When the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) had prayed, he would turn to us and say: “Who among you saw a dream last night?” If anyone had seen a dream, he would tell him and say whatever Allah willed. One day he said: “Did any of you see a dream last night?” We said: No. He said: “But last night I dreamt that two men came to me and they took me by the hand and led me out to the holy land. … Then we moved on to a hole like a tannoor (a kind of oven) that was narrow at the top and wide at the bottom. A fire was lit underneath it, and when it came close they rose up until they almost came out, and when it died down they went back into it. In it were naked men and women. I said: Who are these? They said: Move on. So we moved on.” Al-Bukhaari (1386)
According to another report : “… So we went on, and came to something like a tannoor (a kind of oven). – I [the narrator] think he said: In it there was much noise and voices. We looked into it and saw naked men and women. A flame of fire was reaching them from underneath, and when it reached them, they cried out loudly. I said to them, ‘Who are these?’ They said to me, ‘Move on, move on.’ … ‘As for the naked men and women whom you saw in a structure that resembled an oven, they are the adulterers and adulteresses.’” al-Bukhaari (7047)
Allah says:
“But when Allah wills a people’s punishment, there can be no turning back of it, and they will find besides Him no protector”
[al-Ra’d 13:10]
In this life the Islamically prescribed punishments for those who commit fornication and Adultery are as follows
The male or female who commits fornication are as follows:
Allah says:
“The fornicatress and the fornicator, flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not pity withhold you in their case, in a punishment prescribed by Allah, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day. And let a party of the believers witness their punishment”
[al-Noor 24:2]
The person being punished should be flogged standing, according to the majority of scholars; he (or She) should not be made to lie down and he (or She) should not be bound, and blows to the face, head and genitals are to be avoided.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Rather the blows should be distributed all over the body, so that each limb will have its share, but most of them should be on the fleshy parts such as the buttocks and thighs, and the sensitive areas should be avoided, namely the head, face and genitals of men and women alike.
He said concerning the person being punished that he should not be made to lie down, or be bound, and we do not know of any difference of opinion concerning that.
Ibn Masood said: It is not prescribed in our religion to make the offender lie down or to tie him up or remove his clothing. The companions of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) flogged offenders but there is no report that any of them made the offender lie down or tied him up or removed his clothing.
His garment should not be removed, rather he is it acceptable if he is wearing one or two garments, but if he is wearing a thick coat, it should be removed, because if it is left on he will not feel the blows. Ahmad said: If winter garments are left on him, he will not feel the blows. Maalik said: His clothes should be removed [apart from that which covers the ‘awrah], because the command to flog implies that the blows should be directly to his body. We have the view of Ibn Mas’ood, and we do not know of any of the Sahaabah who differed with him. Allah did not command us to strip the offender, rather he commanded us to flog him, so whoever is flogged through his clothes has been flogged.
And he said: Once this is established, then the whip should be of moderate quality, not so new that it would cause injury and not so worn out that it hardly hurts him.
It was narrated that a man confessed to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) that he had committed zina, so the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) called for a whip and he was given a broken whip. He said, “Better than this.” So he was brought a brand new whip. He said, “Something between these two.” Narrated by Maalik from Zayd ibn Aslam in a mursal report; and it was narrated from Abu Hurayrah in a musnad report.
Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) that he said: Moderate blows with a moderate whip. Not so harsh as to kill and not so weak as to be no deterrent. He should not raise his arm completely, or keep it so low that it causes no pain. Ahmad said: His armpit should not show in any of the hudood punishments, i.e., he should not raise his arm so high, because the point is to discipline him, not kill him.
From al-Mughni, 1/141-142.
As for a married man or a married woman who has sex with someone they are not married too then the punishment is as follows:
If a married person has sex with some with whom they are not married to then the punishment is stoning to death.
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) stoned Maaiz, the Juhani woman, the Ghaamidi woman, and two Jews. All of that is proven in saheeh hadith. The scholars among the Sahaabah (may Allah be pleased with them) are also unanimously agreed on that.
It is narrated from Ibn Abbaas (may Allah be pleased with him) that ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “Allah sent Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) with the truth and revealed to him the Book, and one of the things that Allah revealed was the verse of stoning. We have read it and understood it. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) stoned (adulterers) and we stoned (them) after him, but I fear that there may come a time when some people say: ‘By Allah, we do not find the verse of stoning in the Book of Allah. So they will go astray by forsaking an obligation that Allah has revealed. According to the Book of Allah, stoning is deserved by the one who commits zina, if he is married, men and women alike, if proof is established or the woman becomes pregnant or they confess…”( Bukhaari and Muslim )
The few male and female companions who fell into adultery were very ashamed of what they had done. They would even go to the Prophet and confess their sin and wanted to be punished. Such as Maaiz and the Ghamadi woman.
Abu Hurayrah said: A man from (the tribe of Aslam) came to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) when he was in the mosque and called him. He said, “O Messenger of Allah, This man has committed zina,” meaning himself. [The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)] turned his face away from him. The man came to that side to which the Prophet had turned his face, and said, “O Messenger of Allah, this man has committed zina.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) turned his face to the other side, and the man came to that side, and said the same thing. When he had testified against himself four times, the Prophet called him and said, “Are you mad?” He said, “No.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Take him away and stone him to death.” And he was married. When the stones troubled him, he ran away, but we caught up with him at al-Harrah and stoned him to death (there).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4970
The Ghaamidi woman came and said, “O Messenger of Allah, I have committed adultery, so purify me.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) turned her away. The next day, she came back and asked, “Why are you turning me away? Perhaps you are turning me away as you turned Maa’iz away, but by Allah I am pregnant.” He said, “Then no (I will not carry out the punishment). Go away until you have given birth.” When she had given birth, she brought the child wrapped in a cloth and said, “Here, I have given birth to him.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Go away and breastfeed him until he is weaned.” When she had weaned him, she brought the child, holding a piece of bread in his hand, and said: “O Messenger of Allaah, here he is, I have weaned him and he is eating solid food now.” The child was given to one of the Muslims to take care of, then the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ordered that a chest-deep hole be dug for her, and that she be stoned. Khaalid ibn al-Waleed picked up a stone and threw it at her head. Blood spurted out onto his face and he swore at her. The Prophet of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) heard what he said, and told him: “Take it easy, O Khaalid! By Him in Whose hand is my soul, she has repented in such a way that if the tax-gatherer had done so, he would have been forgiven.” (Reported by Muslim)..
According to one report, ‘Umar said: “O Messenger of Allah, you had her stoned and now you will pray for her!” He said: “She has repented in such a way that if it were to be shared out among seventy people of Madeenah, it would be sufficient for them. Can you find anyone better than one who gives up her soul for the sake of Allah?” (Reported by ‘Abd al-Razzaaq in al-Musannaf, 7/325).
If the adulterer or adulteress is below the age of puberty, then there is no punishment to be carried out, according to all the scholars.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
With regard to puberty and sound mind, the scholars are agreed that both are conditions of punishment being obligatory.
Al-Mughni, 8/134.
The evidence for that is the words of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): “The Pen has been lifted from three, from the sleeper until he awakes, from the minor until he grows up, and from the insane until he regains his reason.” (Narrated by al-Nasaa’i, 3432; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Nasaa’i, 3210).
Punishment for sexual relationships can not be carried out by parents, siblings etc. They have to go through an Islamic justice system.
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): Allah has decreed for every son of Adam his share of zinaa, and there is no way to escape from it. The zinaa of the eye is a glance, the zinaa of the tongue is speaking, and the zinaa of the mind is wishing and hoping; then the private part either acts upon this or it does not. (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 11/26; Muslim, 4/2046).
Abd-Allah ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Avoid these sins that Allah has forbidden, but whoever does any of them, let him conceal himself with the concealment of Allah and repent to Allah, for whoever tells us of what he has done, we will carry out (the punishment prescribed in) the Book of Allah on him.” (It was also narrated by al-Haakim in al-Mustadrak ‘ala al-Saheehayn (4/425) and by al-Bayhaqi (8/330); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 149. )
So brothers and Sisters must avoid things which could lead them to having sex such as watching bad movies, things that cause their urges to increase, mixing with the opposite sex, practise in lowering their gaze and getting married early so you can fulfil your sexual need in the halal way and your needs for companionship.
Parents must help their children get married and be in an Islamic environment.
However, do not marry anyone just because you are having a hard time trying to avoid sex.
You need to marry someone who is good in their practise of Islam, they have good character and their looks are pleasing to you, and you can tolerate their flaws and they yours.
If you have fallen into having sex before marriage then you should sincerely repent to Allah by asking Allah for forgiveness and having that sincerer intention of never having sex with a person with whom you are not married to.
Some Muslims especially sisters, think they are doomed because they had sex before marriage and lost their virginity. The devil whispers thinks such as, your virginity is gone so continue having haram sex or the devil will whisper saying you are not good enough to marry a Muslim man so go date a non Muslim and hope he converts.
Many of Muslims born in Muslim families had a goal to remain virgins before we got married.
If a person falls into haram sex and has lost their virginity they should repent sincerely and have a new goal. That being never again have haram sex again.
Ibn Masood (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The one who repents from sin is like one who did not sin.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah
Sexual intercourse is not the only type of Zina but it is the type of zina that has the strong punishments prescribed for it.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “the eyes fornicate, the hands fornicate, the legs commit fornication, and the private parts commit fornication”. (It is reported by Ahmad and it is in sahih Al Jahni 4150.)
The punishments are same for men and women who engage in this.
Sex in itself is not a bad thing in Islam when it is done in the Islamic way.
That is sex must be between husband and wife.
In some Muslims cultures the couples put limitations on sex with their spouse which are not in Islam. Such as a wife saying they can only have sex during the night or with the lights turned off. Or the husband thinking sex is only for the husbands urges and the wife must not ask the husband for sex when she has urges for it. This is not from Islam.
Abu Dharr (may Allah be pleased with him) said the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “…the intimacy of one of you (with his wife) is a charity.” They said: O Messenger of Allah, if one of us fulfils his desire, will he be rewarded for that? He said: “Do you not see that if he did it in a haram manner, there would be a burden of sin on him for that? Similarly, if he does it in a halal manner, he will be rewarded for it.” (Muslim narrated (1006)
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