Bismillah hir-Rahma nir- Raheem
My Journey from Christianity to Islam
My story in short is that I am a girl who was born to a Christian family and
therefore followed Christianity until January 15th 2006 when I converted to
Islam, most thankful to God.
I grew up in a non-too-religiously-committed Christian family, my father was
an atheist, though he never tried to influence us nor he ever interfered in
our choices, and my mother was a Christian by birth and tradition, and she
brought us up this way.
We went to Nuns Schools therefore learning Christian religion was a must,
and we had to attend the mass on Sunday with the rest of the parish in
addition to a Wednesday special mass for the students. I never liked the
rituals of the mass nor did I feel connected with God through those rituals,
yet I used to practice it with interest because of my conviction that prayer
is the only connection with God, the only way to express my appreciation and
do my supplications, but deep inside me never felt heart warmed with the
process maybe because of all the festive appearance in the church and its
visitors, also the method of the prayer through the priest did not appeal to
me, why should I need a third party to connect me to God, let alone when
that third party is as human as I was? Ever since I was a child we had a
Muslim cleaning lady who used to come help my mother in the house, and she
used to pray timely, I used to watch her with fascination, I used to notice
her shining with faith, even though she was praying alone and not in a
worship house, I once asked her "do u feel God close to u when you pray?"
she said "yes, when u pray u feel His spirit next to you", as simple as her
reply was but it touched the core of my heart, ever since I used to envy the
Muslims with every Athan thinking they are now praying, thus feeling the
spirit of God close to them.
I grew up within Christianity and stayed like that, sort of accepting it as
is until my early thirties, when I joined the communist party and then I
stepped away from religion and my thinking of God became closer to an
atheist, but I never could deny His existence as a whole, and stayed like
that for few years until I quit the party, but my relation with God stayed
abrupt, and I only went to church for Christmas and Easter and to participate in any social occasion.
With time I started feeling that it is not enough for to only believe in
God, and was tired of that abrupt relation with Him, so I concluded that to
strengthen the tie with him I have to strengthen my relation with my
religion, and the agony started again, every time I came closer to the
religion and its teachings I faced the same question torturing me
Who is God?
Is He the father?
Is He the son?
Or is He the Holy Spirit?
God in one on all those three, that was the same answer I always got, but
never was convincing to me, how could God have a son? And how could He say
it is Him that son? Why did He need a son to prove that he's a God?
Why do I as a Christian only need to connect with God through Jesus, if he
were a prophet, then he was as human as we are, though with a higher rank of
sanity, but I don't need him to connect me with God, at the end he was God's
messenger who delivered God's message, as did other prophets, and if he was
God, how could I worship two Gods?
I started reading more in my desperate tries to come closer to God through
this religion, to which I was born, started to worry, I can't accept most of
its teachings, specially the basics, started to feel that the Holy Book is
not the word of God as He sent it, I found in the Holy Book many signs that
*Jesus was only a prophet sent with a message to finish what came before
him,* and actually most of the signs and from the bible gave that
implication.
Matthews 18:11 and the son of man is come to save that which is lost
John, 12:19 For I have not spoken of myself*:* but the *f*ather which sentme,
Matthews 5"17 Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the
Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them
Mark 10:18 Jesus said to him: why callest thou me good? There is no man good
but one, which is God
Mark 9:37 Whosoever receive any such a child in my name, receiveth me. And
whosoever receiveth me, receiveth not me, but him that sent me.
John 17:3 This is life eternal, that they might know thee that only very
God, and whom thou hast sent Jesus Christ.
And so many other examples from the bible how Jesus never claimed he was God
but he always affirmed he was the son of Human.
So where did the idea of Trinity come from, and that Christ is God, the son
of God ?!!?!?!
A dilemma that bothered my brains for years.
Another important issue puzzled my brains; why did God have to come down to
earth in a form of a human? Why did he have to kill "his son" to take away
our sins? Why did He have to bribe us to love him? Aren't we bound for him
for our mere existence and creation? What would be the purpose of our life
if we live with no sins? And where is the divine justice in having one
person take the burden of others sins and mistakes?
And if Christ died while on the cross, then should this mean that God
died??? How could this be?
The only answer I got from those who wanted to prove Christ's divinity that
he did miracles, but other prophets did too!!!
Him rising from the dead after three days is something only gods can do, but
wasn't Elias carried to heaven on a carriage of light, as per the old
testament?
I was never convinced with the answers
*The only answer that I could believe and be convinced with was coming from
my inside which was that the idea of salvation and Trinity were added to
Christianity upon the outset of spreading Christianity from Constantinople,
where the bibles were published with this current shape, for the purpose of
convincing people easily of following that new religion, where the idea of
one God was not common, so making them three would be easier for people to
grasp and that new religion will take away all their sins *
* *
Another important point, was the bible the word of God? And due to having so
many different in identical versions of the bible raised my doubts about
the authenticity of the bible as the word of God and started researching the
issue until I heard a debate by Late sheikh Ahmad Deedat with an American
priest under the title of "is the Bible the World of God" and all the
points he raised were so sensible to me and made so much sense, and I
noticed through Sheikh Deedat's works how so many signs from the Old
testament that indicate the mention of Prophet Mohammad which are totally
ignored, and my trip to Islam began.
And what helped me explore it more, that at the same time of my quest the
attack on Islam in the international arena has got stronger, and I've hear
so many interpretations from within some Muslim factions which came to me
contradicting to what I know of Islam, having lived all my life in with a
Muslim society, so started digging out for the truth and base for such
interpretations, only to find out the TRUTH of Islam which I found a
religion that can absorb everyone, and calls for the worship of One and Only
God and calls for peace and forgiveness and addressed every single aspect of
life, which made it a more realistic religion for me as opposed to
Christianity which I found too spiritual for my taste, let alone the other
essential differences that I could not accept nor comprehend
I found Islam a religion that calls for people to appreciate God for what He
is and for what they are without the need for any mediators with clear cut
instructions that covered the lives of all Muslims.
Instinctively I felt Islam settle in my heart without any resistance, and
talked to my mind with ease, I found my self fitting in it as if I was born
to be a Muslim, the prayer satisfied me and my need to get closer to God,
and I fasted last Ramadan and read the whole Quran, I found myself
spiritually involved in that religion accepting it from all angles, I felt
so much inner peace in it, and after Ramadan there came Christmas followed
by Adha and it was a good test for my conviction, at Christmas I didn't feel
any kind of spiritual attachment nor connection, while on Adha I found
myself fasting Arafah day, when I decided that Islam is the Religion for me,
and I pronounced the Shahadatin on the 15 th of January, Wal Hamdulellah
khadijah